Raising Haze

Chapter Fourteen

(Heather's POV)

I sat on the couch, waiting for my daughter to return. 

I waited for at least an hour before she evenatually walked through the door. Thank god she was okay.

"Haze." I said as I got up. She put her hand up, shook her head, and walked upstairs, probably to her room. I feel like I failed. It was a bad decission to keep this from her for so long. I should of followed Skylar's wishes and told her about her mother. I should of kept the pictures up. I should of ever claimed to be her real mother.

What the hell am I saying? I am her real mother. I'm raising her! 

Sky is the one who killed herself and left me and out daughter. It wasn't my fault she couldn't take it anymore. It wasn't my fault. I tried to save her. I tried to make things better. If only Zane stuck to the plan, we wouldn't have this problem!

Ugh. I need to get myself together and talk to her. I needed to be the mature adult and not act like a child.  So, I got up and made my way to her room.

When i got there, she was cuddling with Derrek. He was playing with her hair and I saw tears going down her eyes. I felt horrible for lying to her. It just seemed like a good choice at the time.

"Haze, please listen to me."

"No."

"Hazelyne." I pleaded.

"Go away."

"Hazelyne Nirvana, I am your mother and you will listen to me!" I snapped. She looked at me like I was a ghost.

"No, you're not. You're not my mother. You were my mother's girlfriend. My actual mother fucking killed herself. You lied to me about it for years. You're not my mom, and you never will be. Just leave me alone." She snapped. She's never said anything like that. Let alone to me. Derrek looked at her like she was on crack.

"Hazelyne, please let me explain everything." I said, trying to fight tears.

"What is there to explain? My mother was a lesbian who experimented. She got knocked up. My dad left.  She got with you, and she eventually killed herself because she wanted to give me a 'better life'. Case closed."

"Oh my god. You act like you know everything. Yeah, that's all correct,  but she killed herself because everyone kept telling her to and that she was a bad mom. She eventually started believing it. And she wanted to be with Avery. She still loved her and couldn't live life with out her. Honestly, I think if she loved you as much as she said she did, she wouldn't of pulled the trigger. What kind of caring mother does that?" Haze looked at me and started crying. I shouldn't of said that. I know Sky cared about her and did love her. Fuck, why did that come out of my mouth?!

"So in other words, I'm just a mistake? Got it." She barley whispered. My heart broke. She wasn't a mistake. She was the greatest thing in my life. And Skylar's. She just wanted what was best for our daughter. 

I opened my mouth to say something, but nothing came out. I just turned around and walked out of her room.

God, I'm stupid.

-------Next Day------

The next day, Derrek and Haze had school. They were already awake, ready, and eating some cereal when I got downstairs. What time was it?

7:00?!

Fuck, I slept in!

"We're gonna be late." Haze said as she and Derrek put their bowls in the sink and walked outside to my car.

I followed, despite being in pajamas, and drove them to school. It was a silent, and very awkward car ride. You could literally feel the tension in the air.

I pulled up to the school. 

"Have a good d---"I was cut off by the door slamming. She was already walking up to the school. Derrek got out after her and looked at me with sorry eyes. He followed her, eventually catching up to her.

I just watched her go into the school. She ignored everyone who tried to talk to her. At least she acknoledged Derrek taking her hand. She wasn't so tense after that.

Regardless, she talked to no one, and anyone who crossed her path, she glared at.

I must of really messed up. Because the way she was acting wasn't like Hazelyne. 

That was not my daughter.