Castle Vitale

Part 6: Don't Want to Want

SHANTI POV

Morning shift over...six to eleven in the morning...time for sleep...six hour sleep and the next shift starts after dinner. I had to stop taking sleeping pills. They just weren't good for me, and I often overslept.

After so many nights in Drake's arms, I felt myself slipping. It got to the point that I needed--no, craved--his touch. I waited for him...and I knew it had to stop. I made the choice to try to avoid him...

Every night, I found myself missing him. I found myself wanting to cry. I didn't understand it, and when I tried I got scared. But I was so tired. I didn't know how long I could keep going. I could feel him now, even in waking hours. It was so...weird. 

My head hit the pillow and I was out this time. No restlessness, I welcomed the dark:

"Shanti."

I wasn't in my room anymore. I didn't know where I was. I was laying in a canopy bed, and I sat up looking around a room I could only describe as gothic, dark. "Oh, my God."

"Hello, pet."

I scrambled on the bed. It was huge! "I...I..."

"Judging by your looks, I am guessing you're not..." He touched my calf, and lightly ran his fingers over it. "well rested?"

"What?"

"Running from me," He hissed, his eyes turning cold. 

"You don't look so hot either," I spat, scooting toward the head of the bed. 

"Yes, I was worried!" He blurted, his muscles clenching as he curled his fists. He closed his eyes and shook his head as he was trying to be calm. "Don't you ever do that to me again, or I swear--"

"Swear what?" I dared. "I am in Canada someplace."

He threw his head back and laughed. "Oh, you mean, Hatley Castle, Greater Victoria Canada?" He shook his head at me. "Pet, that's a sanctuary for psychics, every vampire knows that. It is guarded by some of the best vampire killers in that country."

I gasped, shaking my head in denial. "No...!"

"Yes!" He crawled into bed after me on all fours like some creature of prey, effectively trapping me between him and the headboard. I looked up to see the solid canopy on the bed. Nowhere to go. Tears formed in my eyes as my body began to respond to him, and he had not yet touched me. I grabbed the rail, wishing I could disappear through the wall, but I couldn't. Even in the dream world, he was holding me captive, the place I thought I could walk freely. "I have-what is it called-intel. I have called in a great many favors tracking you down. Of course, they won't touch you--" he reached out. "Scared little compliant Canadians. But me? I'm British high-born-" He caught my wrist as if we were going to dance. "and American vampire elite made!" His other hand encircled my waist and he dipped me onto the bed, using his body to pin me down. "I don't have to do shit anyone tells me!"

I shook my head. 

"No?" he chuckled. "No?" His lips, though cold, seared my flesh, and goosebumps rose on my skin everywhere they trailed. He whispered in my ear. "You know what's wrong with the place? They are ready for a battle, an army of vampires." He licked along my jawline to my neck and back up the other side to whisper in the other ear. "But they're not ready for one very experienced killer to infiltrate their little fortress just for one tender morsel, are they?"

I whimpered softly and he kissed me tenderly as if to hush and console me. "Drake."

"If you care about all those innocent people, you'd come to me." He nestled between my legs, gently grinding against me. "Ah! Much, much better...and I smell your heat, so don't bother denying anything. Besides, I can hear you."

"What?" I began to tremble...

"I don't want to want you!" He murmured in a higher tone, as if mimicking me. "How can you be so evil, yet so irresistable? Oh, God..." I gasped, realizing he was reading my mind. His voice lowered again, and he pushed up my sleep shirt. "Vampire's gift, though it has been a long time since I connected with one this way." He trailed one finger between my breasts. "I don't want to want you either, not the way I do--" His fingers spread under my breasts lightly trailing his nails over my stomach.  "And the thing about evil is it is irresistable--" his fingers began to stroke between my legs, gently kneading and squeezing. He chuckled as I moaned. "depending on the temptation..." One long finger probed gently, beginning a pulsating rhythm. "God?" I arched and twisted as he brought another finger into play. "He's not here, but blame Him--" He dipped his head to entice my mouth open to his, and whispered, "He created desire in the first place."

I realized belatedly that I lay naked under him. How did he...?  "Drake, please!"

"Please what?" he asked, kissing and nipping at my breasts as I twisted under him to meet his hand. "Please what, pet?"

"Aaaah!"

"I won't take you until I have you completely," he told me. "I can do this all day, torture you like this. I feed off it, off you." He reached down, and just as I thought he couldn't do more, I felt him against me. He was thick and smooth, rubbing himself up against my entry, and I gasped as I instinctively opened. My body invited him, yielded. "Temptress." he hissed. He pushed the head in gently and pulled out, rubbing again. I lifted my  hips toward him in offering, aching for him to stop teasing me and he chuckled. "Cross the border, pet. Neither of us will rest till you do. Come to me."

I woke up to the sound of the alarm clock ringing and sat up with a gasp. I did not feel rested. I did not feel as if I even slept. There was only more unrest. There was only want and his eyes were in my mind's eyes, his voice a subliminal message in my ears though I could also hear others talking in the next room. I drew my knees to my chest, rocking back and forth. Every time he took me, the less I felt...like I was here. 

Cross the border, pet. Come to me.

I whimpered with the realization that I may not have a choice. A rock and a very hard place. A devil and the deep blue sea. No choice at all...