Almost Gone. || Michael Clifford

Chapter 21 - I Need Your Help!

I felt the cold air on my skin and his cold hands on my lower back. I cold hear the blood drop to the ground and screamed in pain when I felt him inside me. I was dizzy and I almost fainted. This man has no manners and is a rapist and an abuser. What the fuck did I do to deserve this? I've been nothing but a victim in all this, or have I harmed anyone? I don't think so.. I think I would've remember if I harmed someone else.
But I did get amnesia, and I doubt I'll gotten all my memories back.
Maybe I do deserve this. Maybe I was a horrible person before the accident. But I'm not now, that should be all that matters. If I was a horrible person before, I've definitely changed now. I just.. Ugh, I don't know.. Why doesn't my mom help me? She gave birth to me, she wanted me.. If she didn't want me, she would have done abortion.. I would be much happier if she would have done that. I would be much more at peace in death than in life. This sucks. It's hurts. I just wanna disappear forever..

I moaned in pain and just wanted this to end. I heard Stephan groan loudly and aggressive. I was to weak to even fight him now, I basically stood on all four in front of him. I was close to faint several times and oh how I wish I did that.. Or died.. Or I don't care, just one of those options..
I felt something going down my ass, and I heard my rapist say "We don't want you to be pregnant, right?" He's raspy voice gave me shivers, and I threw up right in front of me.

"That's fucking gross, Melodie!" He exclaimed angrily. "Who do you think have to clean that up, you piece of shit?" He grabbed me by my neck and pushed my head in the vomit. "Mom and I has too! But.. You know.. If you just ate that up, we wouldn't have to clean that up.." ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? Eat my vomit? It's fucking disgusting he can't be serious?!
"Oh I'm serious," he said like he just read my mind. "I bloody sick of cleaning up your vomits.. So from now on, whenever you vomit, you have to eat it up." My face was still in the vomit, and it smelled awful.. It made me even more ill too think about eaten that up, and the smell almost made me throw up again.

"Open your goddamn mouth and eat, will ya?!" He pushed me harder to the ground, if that even was possible, but let go of my neck as soon as the door cracked open.
"Who's there?" He spoke and stood up, walking closer to the stairs to see who it was. I tried to stand up myself, but failed miserable, which caused me to fall with my face on the disgusting vomit. I was still weak as fuck and it took all the power I had to turn over, so I laid with my back on the could floor.

I felt my eyes getting heavier and a massive headache started to take over my head. Before I knew it, I passed out.

*****+*****

I woke up by an awful smell reaching my nose and used all my powers to push myself up. I looked around the room, and it was my bedroom. Beside me, on the sheets and the pillow was puke. My clothes and face was also covered in vomit.
"Fucking great" I mumbled to myself. Grabbing a new pair of jeans and a shirt, I made my way towards the bathroom. I hurried to take off the smelly clothes and turn on the water. When the water was hot enough, I took a step in the shower and let the warm water rinse over my body. It felt so warm and nice. While the water poured over me, I thought back about everything. Memories from last night came back and.. And I just.. I wanna disappear. Run away again, but last time I did that, they found me.  

It's kinda weird though that they trust me enough to let me go out myself. Maybe they don't think I'm brave enough to go to the police. To be honest, I have scars and bruises all over my body, isn't that enough evidence? And why are they letting me go to school? And how can the principal or teacher not see my wounds? I've been to school with shorts, so they must have suspected something weird going on at home. Or maybe they just don't care enough.

After 20 minutes of hot water, washing my hair and body, and thinking, I finally step out from the shower. The cold air made me feel like I was at Antarctica and I hurried to find a towel so I could get dry. When my body was dry, swung my hair back and forth so it could dry faster too. IIt wasn't completely dry, but who cares, it will eventually get dry and I can't spend my day in the bathroom. 
I have things to do, like.. Find Michael.. I need to tell him everything. I made a promise to myself that I would tell him everything. And I will.. When I find him. 
I put my clothes on, and went back to my room. A little amount of foundation on my face, made me look at least a little bit prettier, and some mascara. 

I gave the mirror one last glance before exiting my room. I looked horrible, tired and exhausted. Wish I was cuter, but what can I do? The people outside this house doesn't know the reason why I look so ugly. So they can't judge me. 

"Where are you going?" My annoying devil to a sister asked me with curiosity in her voice. "I'm going for a walk." I answered bluntly, "If you don't mind," I said, clearly with hatred in the voice and reached for my shoes that were beside her feet. 
"Actually..." She begun and tried to look cute by looking at me with big eyes and pouted with her bottom lip. Gross, just shoot me now. Ugh. "Mom told me, that you had to take me to the park." Oh hell no. "What?!" I blurt out, and stood up from the stair. "Why?! Don't you have friends?!" The minute I screamed that out, I realized my mistake. I could see her lips trembling, and she looked at me surprised and it looked like she was about to cry.
"Mooom!" She yelled and ran to the living room. 

You maybe though that from the last time I ran away, I would've learned my mistake? But oh no.. I did it again.. My shoes were already on and I saw the opportunity to go for it, before her dad or mom could punish me for talking to my sister like that. I went as fast I could to the door and opened it quickly before smashing it behind me when I was outside. I kept running as fast I could, and my aim right now was the bench where Michael and I first met.

I heard someone call my name and I turned around and saw Stephan there. He kept yelled my name and how I would regret everything later, and how useless I am. But I ignored him, no matter if I was going to that hell hole now or later, he would still beat me and maybe rape me again.. Fuck I hate this family with the bottom of my heart. I wish I would've  died when I over dozed. 

After what seemed like ages, I finally saw the benches. I was out of breath and my hair was a mess. I had tears in my eyes and I just wanted to die. I sat myself down on the bench and since Michael wasn't here, I begun to think about what I would say. What if he thinks I'm lying.. Or maybe he thinks I just want his attention.. That I'm an attention whore? But I'm not.. I just want help.. I don't want to live, if I'm stuck Stephan and Sophie. 

 I laid my head in my hand and tear after tear left my eyes. "Why does everybody hate me.." I whispered to myself. I didn't really expect an answer, and got really startled when I heard him. "I don't hate you, Melodie" The green haired boy said out of nowhere, and when I heard his voice, I rose immediately and jumped in his arms. "Wow," He laughed and I wiped away my tears, "I missed you so much!" I cried out, still in his arms holding him as hard as I could. I felt safe around him, and I just knew that nothing could harm me when Michael is near me. 

"I need help, Michael.."  I whispered in his ears, my voice cracked when I said his name.