Soldier

6. Thoughts

POV Dec

I was feeling miserable. Ant hadn't called me in the past days and I was starting to feel more worried. I knew he had told me he couldn't text or call me everyday but he would tell me if he landed safely right? He would, yes something happened. I am sure of that. Maybe they just didn't had the time to call their loved ones...or maybe something bad happened...

I was pulled out of my thoughts, when Martin came into my room and gave my shoulder a light squeeze. "Hey squirt, you alright?" He sat next to me and I immediately let my head fall onto his shoulder. He put his arm protectively around my shoulder and pulled me closer to him. "You know he is going to be alright." He told me and gave another reassuring squeeze. "But he haven't text me Mart..or gave me a call. I am worried"

I couldn't help myself and let my emotions take over me. I buried my head in Martins neck and felt his arms wrapping around me. "Hey shh...he is fine. He is always fine. He is probably doing some important stuff, because otherwise he would've called. He knows how much you miss him. He wouldn't not call if there isn't a good reason for it, okay?" it was good to hear those words but I wouldn't be happy until I heard from him. I needed to be sure that he is okay.

"What about you and me and maybe Pat if she is up to it, spending some time together? Hmh? Going to the park or watching a film what do you think about that?" At first I wasn't really sure if I am going to enjoy it but maybe some time off with my siblings would be good for me to take my thoughts off things, so I agreed.

"Good squirt, get into the shower and put some fresh clothes on. I will wait downstairs." He gave me another squeeze before he let go of me and went out of my room. I sighed heavily, something in my head made me feel hopeless and keep on telling me that something went terribly wrong but the worst thing was that I didn't know if it was true or just something I made up in my mind...

I knew Martin and Pat took me to the park to get my mind off things but everywhere I saw happy couples and I couldn't help myself but to think about Ant. How could I not think about him? He was my world, my everything. Not being sure about if he was alright was making me feel sick.

This didn't go unnoticed and Pat came over me, wrapping her arm around my shoulder. "You alright pet? You seem a bit off colour" she said and felt my head. "I am just so worried...what if something happened Pat? Oh god I don't know what I am going to do if something happened to him-" she stopped, wrapped me in a big and long hug, squeezing me warmly.

"He is fine Decky, I am sure he will text you as soon as possible" and I tried to believe her, I really did try but just the thought of him being hurt made my stomach turn and I started to cry. "Pa..Pat I feel sick.." I murmured into her shoulder and began to tremble, every scenario that could've happened crossed my mind. Everything that could've gone wrong played through my head and I couldn't make it stop.

"Decky.. please calm down" she went with me to sit on a bench, Martin sat next to me and rubbed my arm slightly, trying to comfort me, but the one I needed wasn't there. And they knew it, they couldn't give me the comfort Anth could. No one could.

Pat rocked me back and forth while both of my siblings spoke words of comfort to me. After some time my sobs became less and I gently pulled away from my sister, wiping my tears with the sleeve of my jacket.

"You fine now?" Martin asked as we stood up again and he pulled me into another hug. I nodded against his chest and sighed. I didn't knew how to handle everything. Yes I went through this before but this time it felt like something bad might happen or it already did.

"Do you wanna go home now squirt? Watching a movie, like?" He gave me a squeeze before pulling away and wrapping his arm around my shoulder.

I nodded but I knew nothing really could make this situation better. I just needed to wait and trying to go through all of this. Not only for me but for him.