Bonded || Kylo Ren

Episode VII: Afflicted Visions

Rise of Skywalker

"we're fickle stupid beings with poor memories and a great gift for self-destruction." – Plutarch

○○○

He removed his mask, the hiss of air escaping it as the front segment moved. He stared at the burning red that outlined each fragmented piece, the weight of it heavy in his gloved hands. His thoughts trickling into places he hadn't visited in a long time, places he thought he had killed. But now they were awakened by these visions.

He tossed the mask aside in a flash of fury. He instinctually ignited the lightsaber by his side, the long red blade slashing against the metal walls. Sparks flew by him as streaks of black burns painted the walls, his roars tearing through the heavy silence that had engulfed him. He swung again and again, until he was shaking with resentment and guilt and unable to lift his blade.

"Ben?"

He didn't look at her.

He had unleashed his conflict and displayed it out for her to see. He was ashamed of how torn he was, and more now that she knew how far that discord within him went. That was why the Force had connected them, it usually occurred when either of them were in emotionally compromising positions. Did she know then, did she know what he was feeling?

"Ben, what happened?" Her voice was softer, the very sound of it easing him of his rage.

He met her gaze, expecting the apathy he had received on Crait. Instead he was greeted with her concern and he could feel it growing at his silence. She was standing in front of a bed, no doubt awoken by him through the bond. She was tired, her hair untidier than he was used to seeing and now she was clad in beautifully white clothes. His eyes lingered on hers, desperate to ensure that they wouldn't transform into amber ones ringed with red.

"You're okay," he said lowly. He sheathed his lightsaber.

"Are you?"

He stared at her. Why did she care? He thought that she had made it clear that he was nothing more than the monster he had been when all this had started. She had wanted to kill him on the Supremacy, then fled to save the Rebel scum on Crait and shut him off through the bond.

"Why does it matter?"

There was a pause as she took in his question. "You matter."

Her answer took him off guard. He swallowed, feeling vulnerable as he debated telling her.

"I saw something," he started. He clenched and unclenched his fist. "I saw you join me."

"Ben..."

"You were different. Darker. You had so much hatred in your heart. But you stood by me."

"Isn't that what you want?"

"No. Yes." He sounded confused. "She wasn't you."

Her eyes widened at his words. He stiffened, realizing what he had told her and knowing she would react unrequitedly. She said nothing, but she didn't have to – the softness in her eyes had quelled his fears.

"She was my Empress. She was ruthless, slaughtering the Rebels– her friends on the battlefield without a second thought. And her eyes... They were like his." He took a ragged breath. "I thought I wanted this. I thought I wanted you to join me, but if this is what happens to you..." He held out his hand to her, letting it rest against her cheek. "I can't let that happen."

She placed her hand over his. "He was trying to manipulate you, but all it did was bring you back to me. This happened for a reason, Ben. The Force is showing you where you belong."

"Where?"

"With me," she whispered.

He looked at her for what felt like for an eternity. All the fears, all the rage he had confined within him had ebbed away in her presence. The woman who wielded the double-bladed lightsaber was not his Empress, neither was the one before him.

Rey was everything.