It's 2am, and my eyes are wide open.
Gazing up at the mundane ceiling.
And suddenly, my perky complexion becomes pale.
I regain consciousness of the past.
I remember that the one constant I so desparately crave, I can never have.
Envisioning a timeline that will never occur.
Because I'm lonely, too constrained in my thoughts to breathe.
I rest my eyes, putting my mind at ease.
This is when I begin to feel physical pain.
That undeniable, scorching pain in my chest that seems eternal.
Like it's never going to stop.
That assertive, sinking feeling which arrives when I realise that everything was a lie.
All of the prolonging stares, A LIE.
All of the forbidden laughter, A LIE.
Every overlooked comment.
There was nothing of the sort.
A LIE, A LIE, A LIE.
The echoing babbles ring, steadily in my defeated ears.
My sun-kissed lips, drooping until the numbness starts to kick in.
At this moment, I'm lost.
Being led astray by my own delusions.
And there is no option to escape.
I'm just a ticking bomb, waiting to self-destruct, my body feeling the heavy blow.
Ostracised from the world, separated from reality, blinded by what I thought was love.
No space, no air, no freedom.
Panic settles into my lungs.
Welcomed back with an open mind.
It fills that void of nothingness, that space which was previously occupied by you.
It didn't remain empty for long, because this is what it feels like.
To have the light that guided you seized from your sight.
To have your soul swallowed up in the depths of depression.
This is
Heartbreak.
YOU ARE READING
Denial
Poetry- The refusal to admit the truth or reality of something (such as a statement or charge).
