Denial

Self-assured.

They say that once you stop loving someone, you can see that person's true colours.
You can view their true personalities, without that one-sided atrocity which leaves you in denial.
Well, that's what I've discovered today.

As I gradually see you less and less, I give myself time to ponder upon our memories.
And no, I'm not declaring my hatred towards you.
I just think that you will never leave your element.
I used to think you were different, that you had a mind of your own.
Yet if you did, surely you would've spoken up by now.
Instead, you sit back and observe.
Just like the other guys.

I cannot reinforce this enough, but you broke my heart.
Now that I'm continuing my journey into this enigma we call life, I'm not afraid to contradict myself.
I used to believe you were worthy.
Even now, I still stand by the fact that you're kind and intelligent.
Except the latter comes effortlessly.
Because you lack motivation.
You ARE extremely smart, but I never see you utilize your skills.
When you think, you immediately fall into the comfort of your own security.
How will you cope in the wider world, when you are forced to start over?

As long as you maintain a steady circle of friends, and continue to look away, I will forever remain a distant memory to you.
Talking to me isn't easy.
I assume you will never be up for that challenge.
You will never have the confidence to sacrifice 5 minutes of your precious time to converse with the stunning, mysterious outsider.

I thought you were a social butterfly.
I guess I was blinded, but that's okay.
Because I have formed a circle of my own, yet I would never let them speak for me.
I am my own person, but who are you?
You have become lost; forgotten in your own ego.
I don't care about you anymore, as I know that I deserve better.

If you don't make an effort, you're gonna lose me pretty quick.
When you're finally ready to speak to me, please go ahead.
Just remember, I will be honest.
Honesty is key in any relationship, and without it we'd all be liars.
Always lying and cheating to make it into this world.

I've had enough.
You've lost your authenticity, the thing that I admired most about you.
Now every conversation with you is mundane.
Like a broken record, on repeat until my ears bleed with frustration.
I'm sick of it.
I'm tired of your pathetic excuses.
You've lost me, and this time it's for good.

And the most tragic thing is, I actually wanted to remain friends with you for eternity.
I guess it's impossible, as you've been stagnant for 2 years.
Please, for everyone's sanity, focus on yourself for a while.
Start questioning life, and break away from your comforts.
Slowly but surely, nothing can last forever.

For the first time since you broke my heart, I feel
Self-assured.