𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐄─𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐤𝐞¹ (𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠)

75. surrender

I couldn't quite explain the feeling that came over me as I was dragged away from my friends, towards my death. I was scared, there was no denying that, but along with that feeling, I also felt a sense of calm.

There was nothing I could do to stop this now. I was going to die, and as much as I wanted to stay here for Octavia, for Raven and for Bellamy, I knew that death meant I would be reunited with my brother.

I tried carried that sentiment with me as the Grounders carried me outside. I remained motionless as one of them all but tore my jacket off of me, leaving me in only a tank top. I felt myself shiver in response to both the cold air and the fear that was beginning to consume me. I was trying so hard to let the calming feeling prevail, but when faced with death it's difficult to convince your mind that it doesn't have to be scared.

No one spoke as they dragged me to a pole in the middle of the village. It was covered in dried blood, causing my stomach to churn. Closing my eyes, I didn't put up a fight as they pushed me against it, tying my arms above my head.

When I opened my eyes, they locked with Indra's who was watching me intently, "I didn't do this." I whispered, hoping perhaps I could convince her. I was aware I had told my friends to let me die, and that death meant perhaps getting to see Finn again, but the closer I got to it, the more frightened I was.

Indra ignored me as she turned away, just as more people gathered around. My friends had joined us outside now. It was obvious they all wanted to jump into action, hell Bellamy was basically being held back by Lincoln. But, we all knew they couldn't do anything, one wrong move meant death for all of us.

My eyes met Bellamy's and I gave him a sad smile, mouthing a quiet, "It's okay."

His eyes were watery as he shook his head, signalling that no, it was not in fact okay. With that action, I shouldn't have been surprised at what he did next. "Take me!" he yelled, stepping forward, "Kill me, not Avery." he begged.

"Bellamy, stop." I pleaded, tears now running down my cheeks.

Bellamy ignored me, "You don't have to hurt her. Please, just let me take her place."

"It doesn't work like that, " Lexa said as she joined us outside, "Avery committed the crime, and now she must pay."

I let out a shaky breath as she walked towards me, her eyes locking with mine as she pulled a blade from her sheath, "I take no joy in this, Avery. But this time, justice will be done."

I was shaking furiously at this point, beginning to regret my decision of trying to be brave. I should have fought back, fought for my innocence. Finn wouldn't want this. He told me to fight, and I had done the complete opposite.

I calmed my breathing enough to speak, "I didn't do it. It's not justice if I'm innocent." I whispered, my voice wavering in fear.

Lexa ignored me, pressing the cool blade of the knife onto my bare skin. I winced as she began applying pressure.

From the corner of my eye I could see Bellamy rush forward, only to be stopped by Kane. I closed my eyes, not being able to look at him any longer.

As Lexa slid the blade across the inside of my upper arm, I let out a small sob of pain. It only got worse as Indra stepped forward, taking the blade from Lexa and proceeding to lift my shirt. My body trembled as more of my bare skin was exposed to the cold.

A louder cry of pain fell from my lips as the blade tore open the flesh on my stomach, warm blood now cascading down my body. The pain was already becoming too much, and I knew there was more pain I had to endure. It was at that moment I realized that this would have been my brother only a day before. It broke me thinking that I would have had to watch him go through this.

Again and again, each slice of my skin hurt more than the last. When I finally opened my droopy eyes, I saw Bellamy. He had tears in his eyes now, holding onto Octavia who wore the same expression as her brother. My heart ached for them. I didn't want to leave them, but now there was nothing I could do.

My vision began to blur as more and more blood flowed out of my body and onto my clothing, the pole, the ground-everywhere but where it was supposed to be.

Just when I thought I couldn't take anymore pain, we were thankfully interrupted by Clarke who came marching outside. Claiming that it wasn't one of us who tried to poison Lexa, but one of them.

I was too disoriented to hear or see everything that was going on, but I did manage to see Clarke take a big swig of the liquid that supposedly poisoned Gustus. When nothing happened to her, everyone wore a confused expression.

"Explain." Lexa demanded.

It was Bellamy who spoke next, "It was you." He snapped, his eyes landing on Gustus, "He tested the cup, he searched Avery."

Lexa shook her head, "Gustus would never hurt me."

"You weren't the target," Bellamy shot back, "the alliance was."

Everything that happened next was a blur. Lexa and Gustus had a brief exchange of words before she ordered for him to be put on the pole in place of me. As they cut the rope securing my arms free, I felt myself slump forward. A body caught me, pulling me close to their chest. It was Bellamy.

I let out a small sob as he held me close to him, allowing me to rest all of my weight against him. "You're okay." he promised, running a soothing hand over my hair, "I've got you."

He moved slightly so he could scoop me into his arms. I pressed myself into his chest as I closed my eyes. It reminded me of the day he carried me away from the bridge after I had been returned to them from the Grounders. Finn had carried me until he couldn't any longer, that's when Bellamy stepped in.

I let that memory rest in my mind as I listened to Bellamy's heart beat against his chest. Octavia held onto one of my hands, walking beside us as Bellamy carried me away from the crowd. He sat me down against one of the houses, running his thumb across my cheek to wipe away the tears. I gave him a small smile as I reached up and put my hand over his own, bringing it down to my lap, "I'm okay." I whispered, noticing he still wore a worried expression.

He returned the smile as he nodded, "I know."

Abby joined us, wrapping a blanket around me as she began to bandage my wounds. I didn't let go of Bellamy's hand the entire time. Octavia watched us with knowing eyes, a small smile coming to her lips.

Bellamy and I stayed like that as they began executing Gustus. I didn't want to watch, I didn't think I would be able to. So, instead, I sat there, my head resting on Bellamy's shoulder. I told him he could go be with the others, but he had refused.

As much as I had convinced myself earlier that I was ready for death, to see my brother again, I was beyond happy that this wasn't my end. I had more life left in me, and a hell of a lot more fight to give.

-an-

anotha one

but omg poor aves :( also poor bell, almost lost the love of his life (even if he doesn't realize that that is what she is yet)

im just glad our babies are okay and are together...for now

-maddy xoxo