𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐄─𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐤𝐞¹ (𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠)

76. another goodbye

That night the group of us sat around a camp fire. We had set up camp again, deciding to rest for the night before we made the long trek back to our camp. I sat in between Bellamy's legs, my back resting against his chest. Octavia and Lincoln sat across from us, Raven was at one of the tents fiddling with the radio as Clarke and Lexa were in conversation off to the side.

"How'd you know it was Gustus?" Lincoln asked Bellamy, breaking the silence that had consumed us.

I could feel Bellamy shrug, "He'd do anything for her, to protect her. It just makes sense."

I turned my head slightly to give Bellamy a small smile. If it weren't for him and Clarke I would be dead right now.

Octavia looked down at the fire, a blank look on her face, "Look at the thanks he got."

We all fell into silence again, only being interrupted when Raven called out for us, standing up and marching over to the group, she held the radio out.

Bellamy jumped up, reaching down to help me up before turning to Raven, "What is it?"

"Listen to this" she instructed as she turned up the volume on the small device. Clarke and Lexa joined us now, curiosity in their eyes as well.

There was a voice that came out the radio, it said it was transmitting from Mount Weather. The voice said a name-it was Jasper.

My eyes were as they flickered around the group, everyone wore the same expression, "Oh my God." I whispered.

"Talk to him! Say something." Clarke ordered.

Raven shook her head, her face falling slightly, "It's repeating," she announced, before adding, with a small sigh of relief, "They're alive."

"We need to do this now. We've got the alliance, now is the time to use it." Bellamy announced, turning his head to look at Clarke. He was right-we did- but were we really prepared to go to war with Mount Weather. We may have the Grounders on our side but the Mountain Men had an arsenal of weapons much larger than ours.

Clarke looked like she was having an internal battle with herself as she spoke, "First we need an inside man," she looked to Bellamy, "You were right. Without someone on the inside to lower their defences, turn off the acid fog... the army's useless. You should go."

I felt my heart drop and my stomach flipped at her words, I spun towards Bellamy, my eyes a blaze, "What?" I demanded, this being the first I had heard of Bellamy wanting to go into Mount Weather.

Bellamy met my eyes briefly before looking back to Clarke, "I thought you hated that plan, that I would get myself killed?"

Clarke nodded, "I was being weak...it's worth the risk."

I shook my head, trying to find words amidst my anger, "No." I argued, looking back and forth between the two, "You're not going in there Bellamy. If you get caught-if they find you, they will kill you."

Clarke began digging through her jacket, pulling out a piece of paper, she handed it to Bellamy, "My map of Mount Weather. Find a way to get on that radio and talk to us."

I stared at her incredulously, "Is no one listening to me?" I demanded, "Bellamy is not going in there!"

Clarke met my gaze, "If it was anyone else you wouldn't have this problem."

"You're right! But it isn't anyone else, it's Bellamy, Clarke!" I was at a loss for words, not believing that she was so willing to send him to what could potentially be his death. "Clarke, you and I know better than anyone else what it's like in there...what they'll do to him if he gets caught."

She wore a stone cold expression as she looked behind me to Bellamy, "Good luck." she muttered before turning and leaving the rest of us standing there in shock.

My blood was boiling. In that moment I hated Clarke Griffin, the same way I hated her when she murdered my brother. I didn't care if I was being unreasonable. I knew we had to get our friends out, but this wasn't the way it needed to be done.

Octavia wore a similar expression as myself, as she spoke, her voice wobbling, "Bell, how are you going to get-"

Lincoln cut her off, "I can get you through the tunnels."

The youngest Blake sibling shook her head, "You can't go back there-not yet."

As they began disputing about whether or not Lincoln could go back, Raven spoke up, instructing Bellamy to follow her so she could show him what to look for.

I was left standing there alone, in utter shock. I wanted to cry, to scream. This mission could mean death for Bellamy, and I couldn't lose him too.

---

I was back in the tent by the time Raven had finished showing Bellamy how to work the radios. He entered silently, laying down and reaching out for my hand.

I pulled away, without looking at him I spoke, "Don't." I whispered.

I could hear Bellamy sigh, "Avery, please-"

I sat up, turning to look at him now, "Why didn't you tell me this was something you wanted to do?" I demanded.

Bellamy sat up as well. The light from the campfire outside leaked through our tent, illuminating some of his face, he was upset. "Because I knew you would react like how you are right now."

I bit down on my cheek as I shook my head, "You can't blame me for not wanting to lose you. You would feel the same if this was me offering to do this."

Bellamy reached out for me again, however I retreated further into the wall of the tent, "If you do this," I began, my eyes locking with his, "I'll never speak to you again."

Bellamy's face fell, "Avery please." he begged, pleading for me to understand, "Please understand I have to do this."

He had made his choice, and so I had to make mine. I grabbed my jacket wordlessly as I pulled on my boots.

"Where are you going?" He questioned, his voice full of defeat.

I ignored him as I exited the tent, making my way towards Raven's. As I opened the zipper, she looked up at me in surprise. Her face then relaxed as she moved over, allowing me to lay down.

This wasn't what I wanted. I never wanted to hurt Bellamy, or pretend I didn't care. But there was no way I could just sit back and let him potentially kill himself. He was one of the only people I needed in this world, and he was so willing to give it all up.

I went to sleep that night with tears in my eyes, knowing that come morning Bellamy would be gone, and I may not ever see him again.