𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐄─𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐤𝐞¹ (𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠)

18. hold on

Hot tears blurred my vision as we neared camp, all of us letting out a small sigh of relief as the manmade walls came into view. Finn, who had been too weak to walk was now being carried by Bellamy and had gone unconscious about halfway from camp.

As we reached the gates, Jasper and Octavia went ahead, Jasper calling for help, "Clarke! Someone get Clarke right now!"

Clarke came running towards us, "What's wrong?" she asked, her eyes landing on me, her face falling when she saw my expression. I slowly turned my head, moving her gaze from me towards the gates where Bellamy had just walked through, Finn limp in his arms.

"Finn!" Clarke gasped, "Finn, oh my God." she cried, as the whole camp began milling around us, everyone letting out shocked gasps.

A few other boys rushed to help Bellamy as Clarke reached a shaky hand forward, feeling for Finn's pulse, "He's still alive."

Raven, who had just arrived at the scene, grabbed onto my arm, letting out a small cry, "Oh my God."

The minute I looked over at her, the tears stared again. I tried to speak, but no words came out as Raven pulled me into a tight hug. 

"Bellamy wouldn't let me take the knife out." Jasper explained from behind us.

"That was a good call." Clarke backed up Bellamy. She was flustered as she looked at Finn, trying to figure out what to do. "Get him into the Dropship. Now! Go!" she instructed, letting out a few quick breaths. She was panicking, which wasn't making me feel good about her being able to save my brother.

"Clarke!" Raven called, lightly moving past me to approach the blonde girl, "Can you do it? Can you save him."

Clarke shook her head, fighting for words, "Not me. I need my mother."

My heart dropped, Clarke's mother was still up on the Ark, and as far as I knew, we still had not made contact with them.

Raven confirmed my assumption, "There's still no radio." she announced, throwing her hands up to her head in frustration.

"Raven! Fix it, go!" Clarke instructed, her words prompting Raven to hurry back toward the Dropship. 

I watched as Raven ran past me, but I couldn't move. I knew if I went in that Dropship I would see my brother laying there, almost lifeless and I wasn't sure I could handle that. I felt my breathing speed up as everyone around me began moving. I felt like I was going to throw up, or collapse, or—

"Avery." Bellamy was in front of me, his dark eyes scanning my face. "Avery, take a deep breath."

My eyes flickered up toward him, as if I had just been pulled from a different world. Hesitantly, I took a deep breath, trying to force my breathing back into a routine. 

Bellamy gave a small nod, still watching me with intensity. "Good." He praised, taking a deep breath himself as if to show me what to do. "Again."

I did as he said, taking a few more deep breaths, the air filling my lungs, my heart rate slowly slightly. 

Glancing over his shoulder, Bellamy nodded toward the Dropship. "Get inside." He instructed, "Your brother will need you."

I looked at him through red-rimmed eyes. "I don't know if I can." I admitted, not being able to picture seeing my brother that close to death. I didn't care how weak that made me sound when it was the truth. 

"You can." He promised. "He needs you. Go."

Reluctantly, I took a step away from him, making my way back toward the ship where my brother had been taken.  A million thoughts rushed through my head, the most prominent being the fact that Finn could already be dead by the time I reached him.