𝐋𝐈𝐅𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐍𝐄─𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐥𝐚𝐤𝐞¹ (𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠)

106. remorse

No one had said a single word the entire trek. Looks of sympathy were thrown in Octavia's direction, but aside from that, silence prevailed.

I had remained close to my best friend, watching as she walked through the forest with a stone cold expression. All sadness seemed to have faded...now, she was angry.

I wasn't sure where we were going, but hadn't bothered to ask. I assumed wherever it was was somewhere safe.

Soon enough, we seemed to have reached our destination as Miller and Bryan at the front of the group began to slow down. They were wordless as they led us to an entrance to a cave.

I followed behind the group, Octavia being the only one behind me. I continuously checked over my shoulder to ensure she was still behind me, half afraid she was going to try and leave.

As we entered the cave, I felt my heart stop in my chest as I pulled my eyes from where they had been focused on the ground. He was already watching me as I entered, his eyes wide and full of regret.

I now knew why Bellamy hadn't been there to help us escaped, he had been here the entire time. I met his gaze for a moment, my eyes steady as they locked with his. He looked like he wanted to say something to me, his lip shaking slightly.

I didn't give him the chance, instead I tore my eyes from his, focusing them on Indra who was standing behind him, a dark look on her face.

As Octavia entered the cave, I stole another glance at Bellamy. He watched his sister for a moment before searching behind her, clearly expecting to see someone else. "Where's Lincoln?" he questioned, his voice wobbling.

I looked down, clenching my jaw as Octavia spoke. Her back was to her brother, and her voice was cold. "Pike put a bullet in his brain."

Bellamy looked to me with wide eyes, almost as if he was hoping I would tell him that it wasn't true, that Lincoln was still alive. I glared at him, slowly shaking my head to confirm Octavia's statement.

"O." he breathed, looking back to his sister. "O. I am so sorry-"

Bellamy was cut off as Octavia spun around, sending her fist into his face. Bellamy staggered backward, before looking back at his sister with sad eyes. Octavia didn't wait long before she hit him again.

I felt myself wince. No matter what, I hated seeing Bellamy get hurt.

"Octavia." Kane warned. "That's enough."

"Kane!" Bellamy argued, looking up with an already bloodied face. "Stay out of this."

Octavia's breathing was laboured as she hit her brother again. And again. And again.

With each hit, I felt myself crumbling more and more. I couldn't watch this. I quickly turned, pushing myself out of the cave. My body shaking in upset.

As I marched away, the sound of Octavia's cries and Bellamy's grunts filled my ears. We were all broken, and I couldn't handle it. We needed each other, but we couldn't even trust the people we loved most.

As I emerged into the forest, I took a deep breath. The air was thick, the ground wet from the rain that had been falling only minutes prior. I ran a hand through my hair, stumbling back against a tree as tears fell from my eyes.

I slid down against the trunk, the tears falling faster as my breathing began to increase. My hands were shaking in front of me as I tried to focus my breaths. I knew what was happening, I was on the brink of a panic attack.

It felt just like that night in the Mount Weather bathroom when Clarke had to calm me down after I began panic over not knowing where Finn, Octavia and Bellamy were.

My panic now stemmed over the current state of everything. Lincoln was dead, Octavia was broken and Bellamy had betrayed us all.

"Avery?" his voice was quiet, and slightly shaky as he spoke.

My head shot up, my watery eyes meeting with his own. Bellamy's face was covered in blood, and that caused me to break even more. The rain had started again at some point, and was pouring down around us.

"What are you doing out here?" I demanded, my voice breaking as I tore my eyes away from him.

Bellamy took a small step toward me. "I wanted to make sure you were okay." he explained. He sounded smaller than ever.

I closed my eyes for a minute, focusing on calming myself before I spoke again. "Shouldn't I be asking you that?" I questioned, trying to divert the attention from myself.

Bellamy moved closer, crouching down in front of me. Much like myself, Bellamy ignored my question about his wellbeing. "You're not okay." he acknowledged, noting my teary eyes and laboured breathing.

I stared back at him, finally managing to calm my breathing on my own. "I'm fine." I snapped, pushing myself to my feet.

Bellamy scrambled after me as I began to stalk back to the cave. "Avery!" he pleaded. "Can we please just-"

I spun around, my eyes ablaze. "Can we just what, Bellamy?" I demanded. "There's nothing I have to say to you! You had every opportunity to do the right thing. You can't make up for that now that everything's over."

Bellamy looked defeated as he reached out for me. "I'm so sorry." He whispered, "I should have protected you, I should have-"

"You're right." I snapped. "You should have protected me. You were angry and guilty because of what happened at Mount Weather, I know that. You thought you lost me in the explosion, but you didn't. So it's beyond me how you thought siding with Pike was the answer. You played his game and you almost let me die, Bellamy. He was going to kill me."

Bellamy had tears in his eyes. It wasn't something I saw often, so at the sight of it, I almost broke down myself.

"I wanted you to come to me." I whispered. "I would have helped you Bellamy, you could have talked to me. Whatever you were feeling, it didn't need to end up like this."

I couldn't say anymore, as tears were threatening to spill and cries were readying to overtake my words. I quickly turned from Bellamy, escaping back into the cave, leaving him standing in the rain alone.