Cigarettes, Sarcasm and the Complications of the Real World

9

I shimmy on a pair of black shorts and a grey tank top.

I hear a knock on my bedroom door.
"Come in." I shout.

My brother walk in the room and jumps onto my bed.

"Are you looking forward to tonight Fozzie?" He asks.

"No!" I say grumpily. "I hate bowling... I mean I rock at it but I hate it!"

He laughs sitting up. "Come on it will be fun!"

"Any things fun for you since you spend most of your time trying not to be killed." I snap.

"Woah! Period?" He asks.

"One) You don't ask a girl if she's on he period that is a survival technique! And two) No I am not!" I explain.

"Okay whatever you say." he mumbles.

I glare at him. "Have you just come up here to annoy me or is there something you want?!"

"Mom says you've got five minutes." he says.

I grab my sweater and lace up my docs. "Don't need it, I'm ready."

Me, Tom and Jess get into my moms car.

"I'm hungry." I complain.

"We'll get some food there." My mom calls from the front. "A burger or something."

I sigh. "I can't have a burger can I mom?!"

"We know but we'll find you some vegetarian food for you honey like a salad or something." she smiles.

"Oh great a salad" I say sarcastically. "I'm not a rabbit." I mumble.

I notice Jess smiling down at her phone.

"Who ya texting?." I say annoyingly grabbing her phone off her.

"Give it back!" She shouts.

"Ohh who's Henry!" I laugh.

"Shut up!" She says angrily.

"Hey babe!" I start to read out the texts giggling. "Hey honey boo?!"

"Mom!!" Jess screams.

"You are my world princess!" I cough with laughter at the next text and begin to read. "Love is an understatement of my feeling for you, my boo boo baby your my boo, your eyes are the nicest shade of blue..." I get cut off as my mom grabs the phone of me.

"Your such a little bitch!" Jess shouts.

"Language Jessica!" My mom snaps.

"Yeah Jessica language." I giggle.

"Harriet will you just stop being an annoying little cunt for once." Tom moans.

"Shut the fuck up Tom!" I frown.

"Will you please stop swearing!" My mom try's to say calmly. "Right Harry stop annoying Jess. And all of you stop cursing!"

I try to hold back my laughter but I just keep thinking about that poem so a burst of laughter escapes my lips, Jess punches me in the arm which makes me laugh more.

I'm such a child.

We park up and get put the car.

"So Jess, I'm serious who his this Henry?" I ask as my mom and brother walk forward.

"Just piss off Harry." She mumbles.

"No like I won't take the piss, but just tell me about him." I pled, she gives me the silence treatment. "I'll just keep annoying you if you don't tell me." I smile.

She sighs. "His name is Henry, obviously and he asked me out a week ago while we were walking from maths to physics. He has blonde hair and green eyes, he's on the basketball team and, loves video games and pizza." she says quickly. "Is that enough information?"

I think for a second "You've only been going out a week and he is already telling you he loves you?"

She scowls at me.

"I would like to meet this Henry if he likes video games and pizza please."
"Your not meeting him!" She laughs.

"Why not?!" I frown.

"Because I actually like him and you'll just screw it up."

"Rude." I mumble

We walk into the fairly run down bowling ally, I sprint towards the driving games and begin to play.

"Harry sweetie can you come over here please?" My mom calls.

I groan and give up my car for the six year old I pushed over to get to it. "Whhhat!" I moan.

She smiles down at all three of us. "This..." she gestures towards a young guy maybe around thirty. "Is Teddy." She smiles.

"Huh?" We all say together.

"Who's Teddy?" I whisper to Tom and Jess.

"I don't know but moms acting all squishy." Jess says.

"It's freaking me out." Tom says.

"Hi guys." He smiles. "I've heard so much about you all."

"Really because we've never even heard of you." I mumble.

"Jessica the baby of the family." He smiles to my sister she looks very confused.

"Harriet, the trouble maker eh?!" He smiles playfully punching me on the arm.

"What is happening right now?" I say but I don't think me heard.

He moves over to Tom and fucking solutes. I let out a burst of laughter.
"You make our country a better place, thank you sir." He says.

"Um... No problem bro?" He replies.

"Shall we get our shoes then?" My mom smiles.

Me Tom and Jess drop back.

"Who the fuck is this punk?" Jess says giving him a confused look.

"It wouldn't surprise me if he was secretly an ax murder." I say seriously.

"Not an ax murder Harry... I think he's moms boyfriend?" Tom says nodding towards both out there hands.

It was horrible.

They were holding each others.

"Mom can't have a boyfriend." I say.

"That's just not right." Jess adds.

"Plus he's like 12." Will frowns.

We stop at the desk and tell the lady out shoe size.

"Excuse me I'm just going to head to the little boys room.

"Mom." I hiss. "Who is this dude?"

She sighs. "Look guys." she says to all of us. "With you all getting older I need to build some sort of life for myself after you leave."

"You have a life!" I frown.

"And who's leaving?" Jess says.

She gives a stern but amused look. "Teddy and I are dating."

"Ew." We say in unison.

Mom chuckles to her self a little. "I know you think it's gross or whatever but I'm very happy."

My mom has a boyfriend and I don't.

How depressing.