Cigarettes, Sarcasm and the Complications of the Real World

11

I plop onto the damp grass making the bottle of vodka I am holding clatter onto the ground.

My phone begins to ring for the seventh time tonight.

Fred's name beams on the screen but I just swipe him away and the music stops leaving pure silence.

I slip a cigarette into my mouth and light it, I had managed to slip the packet out of Wills pocket when we'd been making out.

The thought of that makes my stomach turn.

What have I done?

I may have just ruined a life long friendship in just one night.

In just one stupid action.

And the worst part is that I'm going to Washington with him in less than a week.

I check my phone.

Nothing.

I want him to call.

I really do.

It's crazy because even if he did call what would I say to him? 'Hey best friend that I've known all my life! You know that time when we made out that was fun right?'

Urgg my head hurts from thinking and alcohol.

I shut my eyes tight squeezing out tears, the salty water makes my black eye lashes stick together.

"Harriet?" A gentle but familiar voice says.

"What?!" I sob sternly, turning towards the voice. "Go away Lucas."

"What's the matter?" He says resting his hand on my sholder.

I shake his hand off. "Nothing. Go away."

He sits down next to me and takes the bottle out my hand taking a swig. "That's why your sitting drinking vodka and crying in a park at-" he checks his watch "-1am?"

"It's 1am?!" I shout.

He chuckles a little and nods his head. "So what is wrong?"

"Why do you care?" I mumble.

"I don't like seeing people upset, especially not beautiful girls." he smiles.

I turn towards him and look at his sincere face in the dim moonlight. "Why are you being so nice to me?" I say tears spilling out if my eyes.

"Well the whole cocky forward guy wasn't really working so I figured playing mr nice guy might help me get into your pants." he smirks sarcastically. "I don't really know why I'm being so nice... It's kinda new to me."

I laugh though tears. "I screwed everything up."

He shakes his head and wraps his arm around me with a tight squeeze.

"I have." I begin to cry harder. "My moms gonna forget about me, my dad already has. My sister hates me, my brother is away all the time. I haven't spoken to Charlotte in weeks, I've been avoiding a perfectly nice guy who wants to be with me because I want something more exiting or whatever and now I make out with my best friend because of some fucking hormones or some shit." I sob lean into Lucas's chest. "My head hurts so much."

"There is a saying" He smiles down at me "everything will be okay in the end. And if it isn't okay now then it is not the end."

I sniffle a smile and continue to cry into him, making his shirt wet with tears. "I'm sorry."

"Sushh." he whispers stroking my hair out of my face.

So here I am.

Drunk and crying into Lucas's arms at 1am in a dark park.

And I've never felt so variable.

•

Lucas being nice?! Whaaaa...😱

I feel like I need to give Harry a big hug aw😔

So that's two of you readers now that have added me to a story list! Aw thanks guys!😚

Rachael x