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Grave Robber (Darkest Dungeon)

Grave Robber

Darkest Dungeon

Non-Lemon

The closest thing to her real name I could find is Audrey, so I'll go with that.

It is an odd ritual society has in a modern setting to bury the departed with their nicknacks and valuables, with them a sentimental or superstitious value.

Some believe that by being buried with a particular artifact or heirloom, they can bring it with them to the afterlife, to which wether that belief is held true is dependent on the person whom is asked.

In ancient times, in the far off, desert lands of Egypt, pharaohs were buried with the entirety of their valuables, with pets too, an odd practice by our standards today, but a staple funerary right in theirs.

Off the topic of buried valuables, we have you, a successful banker who held a great status and even greater fortune, with an opulent mansion and fleet of carriages only the start of your luxurious lifestyle.

However, in times of strife brings poverty.

The people who's income fueled your business slowly began to decline on their bank memberships, the result of a war with a neighboring state which led to small businesses drying up which in turn led to a loss of revenue in your bank.

The steady loss of funds caused you to consider any form of fallback plan in case your bank fell through, and you were disheartened knowing that you made no such plan, as your faith in the bank was stalwart.

Then, Hope arrived, in golden locks and a lady's dress.

A woman by the name of Audrey, whom you were acquainted through her father's dealings with the bank, came to you as a friend, and offered you an escape from your steady incline into poverty.

Grave robbing.

You nearly spat out your brandy when she bought up the prospect of desecrating the dead, but sense became her words when she explained that a simple weeding band would save him from his troubles if he was willing to take it.

When said that way, how could you refuse?

And so you stood at the entrance of an old, unkempt crypt, Audrey by your side, you were prepared to do what you previously thought terrible.

You: I swear, with god as my witness, I will leave if that corpse comes alive.

Audrey laughed at your clear worry.

Audrey: Don't worry dear, it's only happened to me twice.

You: Twice!?

Audrey steeped forward with a lantern lit.

Audrey: Let's go, we only have so much of moonlight left.

You hesitantly followed Audrey into the crypt, a lantern in your hand as well.

You both passed old, decrepit caskets, once ornate, now torn asunder by time.

You: Ironic really, they spent thousands for a total burial, only to be left in a musty old crypt with an old coffin.

Audrey: The rich are rarely smart, sometimes it felt like you and I were the only ones capable of advanced thought.

You: Only ones capable of making they're own drinks too.

Audrey giggled.

Audrey: I don't know, you made your brandy a bit too strong.

You: Just how I like it.

You both came into the center chamber of the crypt, where a single, old casket sat in the center.

Audrey: Here's the old hag, smells worse in death than she ever did in life.

You: From the looks of this crypt, I'd say vanity was her strong suit.

Audrey: It was, she buried herself with all the finest clothes and perfumes, but what's most valuable is the weeding band that her poor husband gave her. She put him in the ground long before she croaked.

You: Let's not stay and anger spirits any longer, let's get the band and leave.

Audrey: Don't worry that handsome head of yours, I'm going.

Audrey climbed up onto the top of the coffin, kicked the lid from it, and climbed in to retrieve the band.

Audrey: You know, with your share you'd still have a fair bit of money left over after you secure your finances, just enough to bring someone out to dinner.

You: That's an odd thought.

Audrey: I don't know, a girl would swoon over a handsome, classy gentleman like yourself.

You subtly caught on to what Audrey was insinuating.

You: I was under the interpretation that you had several courters ready for you to marry them.

Audrey rose from the coffin, holding up the band so that she could admire it.

Audrey: And not a single one of them as interesting as you.

You: Hardly anything interesting about being a banker.

Audrey: You say that, yet all the women whom have had your company say that you are an absolute stunner in bed.

You: I would hope that information was kept secret.

Audrey: Oh darling, if your good at it, it's only right to brag.

You: Still, not something I would hope to be public.

Audrey jumped out of the casket, and walked towards you, placing her hand on your chest.

Audrey: That reserved personality is just driving me mad, let's get out of here and get dressed up for a night on the town.

Audrey walked past you as you looked at the casket, it's lid left off.

You: Should we not rearrange the corpse?

Audrey: No need, she never gets visitors.

You shrugged and followed Audrey outside, and after a bit of walking, found yourselves back at your estate, you both entering the living room and throwing your coats on the couch.

Audrey: If I could make a humble request, do wear that gold colored tie, it matches so well with everything you wear.

You: If I didn't know better, I'd say that you have had feelings for me for some time.

Audrey: Well...perhaps. But can you blame me? I'm sitting in this circle of aristocrats, bored out of mind, then you arrive, like a knight in shining armor to save me from this mediocrity.

You: Quite poetic.

Audrey approached you.

Audrey: Perhaps this will better express how I feel.

Audrey grabbed you by the back of your neck and pulled you into a deep, passionate kiss, you instinctively grabbing her waist.

Audrey pulled away, a string of saliva between your lips.

You: I believe I now fully understand the depth of your feelings.

Audrey: Good, I've wanted to do that for some time.

You both kissed again, the dirty weeding band in Audrey's hand as you both locked lips.