digital dance - poetry

the soccer field at night

on the good nights it felt like this
cool, but not cold
the stars were filling up the emptiness
I panicked for two and a half hours
I waited for her, hidden away in the shadows
when we found each other, all I could feel was her embrace
we would stand like that
sometimes for a couple minutes
locked together
and then she would take my trembling hand
and we would walk to my car
I was always quiet while we drove
and her hand would hold my shoulder
and stroke my hair
I would park
in whatever secluded corner we claimed as our safe haven
and climb into the backseat
you would think it would be physical
mostly, we talked
sometimes, in the silence, she held me close to her tightly bound chest
sometimes, her lips met mine and we shared the taste of our fears
it was never a physical matter with us
but I delighted in every second of closeness I was granted with her
I miss that feeling
the closeness
I miss the way she held me
like I was too precious a thing to let go
and I don't know
how to find that again