not living

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i am not living
just breathing and moving
in a simulacrum of a person
the doctors dont help
they prescribe me pills
and doubt me all the while
she does not help
in fact
sometimes i fantasize about her leaving
just to make me feel like a person again
even if that person
would be left broken and bloody on the bathroom floor
i am not living
i am surviving
but without a breath of fresh air

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