Cami's POV
"Okay Mrs.Apa, we're going to give you the drugs to induce the labor and once you've dilated enough we'll start pushing, we'll start tending to the baby as soon as she is born, the faster we attend the problem the higher chances of living"
"Okay just do it already"
Several hours passed before I started feeling heavy contractions. Once I did the doctor said I was finally ready to push, I didn't want to give birth because I knew the outcome was bad, my baby was dying and I didn't do anything to save her. She'll never have a chance at life all because I didn't do enough to protect her.
"Camila, you know none of this is your fault, I can tell you're blaming yourself just by the look in your eyes, I know you better than anyone in the world"
"It is my fault, I let Daniel hurt me, I should've protected my stomach more" I sobbed
"Baby I know there's more to why you're crying, tell me everything"
"What if after we lose nugget we start separating, there are so many couples that separate after losing a child, I can't bare to lose you, you're the one for me and always will be"
"You won't lose me baby, I love you so much and nothing will separate us, if we lose her then we're going to overcome it together, we'll go to therapy or we'll always be sure to keep the communication and understanding that we've had since the moment we've met" He said giving me a soft kiss on the cheek.
"Alright, we need you to start pushing Mrs.Apa"
I pushed so hard but I couldn't do it, it was so painful
"I can't, it hurts too much"
"Come on baby you can do it"
After what seemed like hours of pushing I finally heard the doctors sigh, signaling that nugget was out. But she wasn't crying, I knew that meant that she didn't survive. I broke down crying and so did KJ. It felt as though a part of our hearts had been ripped out of us, and we were never going to get that part back. It felt like an aching pain deep in my heart that seemed like it was never going away. (A/N I tried to make this as delicate as possible, being from a family where both my mom and sister lost a child its a pain that I would never wish upon anyone)
"I'm sorry but your daughter didn't make it, would you guys like to take a few moments with her, once you're ready just call one of the nurses, excuse us and again I'm sorry for your loss"
KJ took her in his arms and cradled her. It hurt to see him with her knowing it was going to be the last time she's ever going to be in our arms. He came closer and put her in my arms. She was so tiny, so beautiful, she looked exactly like me, but she looked like she would have her dad's gentle eyes and genuine smile. I grabbed her little hand and kissed it. KJ sat down with me in the hospital bed and we both held her for a couple of minutes.
When we were finally ready to let her go, I felt her hand move, but it couldn't be, she was gone. I started whispering in her ear
"Come on baby, I know I'm not crazy, you just moved your hand, maybe you can hear mommy's voice, if you can come back to us, we want you to be able to live a real-life, if there's any part of you that wants to fight, do it. We'll help you but push yourself baby girl, mommy and daddy want you with us"
I felt her move again
"KJ! Babe, she moved"
"Cami, it's not possible, she's gone," he said crying
"No, hold her, talk to her and you'll see" He took her from my arms and started talking to her.
"Hi princess, you're mom said you moved, is that true? You know if you were to open your eyes right now it would be the biggest blessing we could ever have. I want to see you grow up, take your first steps, say your first words, and although I'll scare every boy away I want to walk you down the aisle one day, if what mommy said is true then that means you're fighting to live and that's all we ask for, but if you need to go we also will be okay with it, we just want you to be in a happy place, with no suffering" And just like that nugget moved and little whining noises came from her.
