Girl [GXG]

Acute Myelogenous Leukemia

Dad brought me over a hot tea as we sat in the lobby of the hospital.

"A chamomile tea for the lady," he says handing me the paper cup full of the piping hot drink. I smile and quietly thank him for the tea, but I don't drink it. I'm too nervous to find out the test results. "Drink," he says "it will make you feel better. I nod and take a small sip; it doesn't ease the anxiety I feel.

Pop couldn't leave work so it's just me and dad at the hospital right now instead of the three of us. Dad is staying positive; telling me that everything is ok. I know he is trying to be optimistic, but we both know deep down that everything isn't going to be ok. I feel tired, but as of recently I'm always tired.

In the past few months I have been losing so much weight, my lymph nodes are swollen, and I have been so tired despite sleeping every night. My dads made me go to the hospital where I spent the day getting blood tests done to try to see what on earth could be happening to my body.

A short nurse who looks like she's in her 50s pulls us to the side to deliver the news. She's not making eye contact with me or dad. Instead she is talking to the space between us, and that's when I hear it. I hear the word that is now going to become the biggest part of who I am.

Leukemia

Acute Myelogenous Leukemia

My head is pounding. A wave crashes over me, and I'm no longer listening to what she's saying. Instead I'm trying to think of my age at this exact moment. is it 14 days or 15?

"So what can we do for her," Dad inquires; pulling me back to reality.

"Well your choices are chemotherapy, radiation therapy, or chemo with a stem cell transplant," she responds giving me a pitiful look; like I'm a lost puppy. I look away, and watch out the window with silent tears rolling down my face. My legs feel like jelly so I sit so as not to fall.

"Well thank you for informing us. If you will excuse me I have to contact my husband," I hear dad say from some distant planet. He came over and sat down next to me. He rubbed my shoulder, and I finally turned my head to face him. "Delilah I am so sorry that you have to go through this," he says quietly. In that intent I lose it and fall into my fathers chest as I sob, and he holds me close to him.

"Dad, I'm going to die," I remark; wiping my eyes.

"Don't say that, your Pop and I are going to find the best doctors for you, and we are going to get rid of this cancer. I just need you to promise me to live every second to the fullest, and stay strong," he says wiping his eyes as well. "I'm going to go call him now and I will be right back," he stoop up, and puled his phone out of his pants pocket.

"Hi honey," he said and paused for a second listening to Pop. "Acute Myelogenous Leukemia," he said; his voice quivering. "Yeah she's scared, but I think that chemo will be the best option," he continued. "We'll talk more when you get home," he added before he hung up, and put his phone back in his pocket.

He turned back to me, "how about we go get you some pizza," Dad noted.

"I'm not hungry," I responded.

"Delilah you need to eat."

"I just don't have an appetite anymore," I whispered.

Dad nodded, "we'll find something for you to eat at home," he said; helping me stand up to walk out of the hospital.

We walk out to the car me trailing behind as I think about my family. We climb into the car, and dad lets me pick the music. I turned on some Elliott Smith.

"Come on Delilah we don't need this sad music right now," Dad objected, but I just shook my head.

We pulled into the driveway, and dad stopped the car. "You start school tomorrow," he said, "are you excited."

"I was but now the cancer is a bit of a buzzkill," I responded rolling my eyes. Dad playfully shoved me. "Christopher is driving me tomorrow so you guys don't have to," I said. Dad wiggled his eyebrows at me. "I've told you it's purely platonic," I said agitated.

"mhm," he responded. We sat in silence for a little bit before Dad turned the car off, and we walked inside. "I'm going to make you a salad and you're going to eat it," I hear, and I nod my head as I walk up to my room. Patch is sleeping on my unmade bed, and my computer is open to my class schedule.

My phone buzzes with a message from Christopher.

"Have you gotten the results back yet?"

"Acute Myelogenous Leukemia" I answer, and set my phone on my desk.

I sit down and patches waddles over and cries as he sits down in my lap. I pick him up and place him on my bed as I get up and place a record on my turntable. I play the soundtrack from Labyrinth, and lay back down on my bed, and let the music surround me.

"Delilah come get your food," I hear dad call. I walk downstairs, and sit across the table from my father. "So are you ready for school to start?" he asks. I shrug my shoulders and try to force down a piece of lettuce, but it's like trying to get patches to stop trying to go outside. I am slowly able to choke down about half of my salad. I stand, and take my dish over to the sink, and compost my leftovers.

"I'm going upstairs to take a nap," i whisper, and slowly creep upstairs to my room. As I close my curtains I see a uhaul truck pull into the driveway a few houses down. The door opens, and I see a tall girl with long brown hair, and blue eyes climb out of the vehicle. She's wearing an oversized avengers shirt, tattered blue jeans, and white sneakers. I also see a tall, and weary looking middle aged man step out of the truck and wrap his arm around the girl as they look at the quaint house.

I close my curtains, and check my phone for any messages from Christopher, but there isn't anything. I lay down in bed, and try to get the throbbing in my head to go away. I roll over onto my other side. The pounding in my head won't go away, and I massage my temples to try to get rid of some of the pain. I slowly drift off into a dreamless sleep.

When I wake up the pounding has lessened, and heart feels warm, and full. I notice that dad came upstairs, and covered me up while I was sleeping. I roll back over onto my stomach and try to go back to sleep. I have been so tired this past week, but apparently that's a symptom. I am trying to get as much sleep as possible before school starts, and I have homework, and cancer to deal with.

I get up and check my phone to see a message from Christopher.

"shit"