Deceasedless [A Personal Journal] - on hold-

Second First Day Of Highschool

tw & a note: contains suicide. this story is supposed to help me deal with my trauma and depression. it's to voice my feelings into literature. this isn't for anyone else but me. if you like this, cool. if not, too bad. not everything is related to me, i wanted these ocs to have their own lives without completely throwing my life on them.  if my friends think things are referenced to you? maybe. but it's all good things. but you guys are apart of my life so.. yea enjoy ig

A gentle creek sounded, the fan blade moving back and forth until it steadied. The dead that hung in the room was broken. The girl that once had life was now lifeless. Matilda Claire Cross was gone.

 She supposed it wasn't a sad thing to do. Over her brief life she'd done more to make her father sad than this. But it would sort of put a damper on things. Matilda had hoped it would only affect her father for a week, at most.

 Warmth filled her veins suddenly, and she heard a thud as she fell to the ground. Confusion pulsed through her, and as she got up, she met eyes with a messy haired, freckled boy. Matilda blinked. She thought it was a boy. He was a ghost white, with scribbles for eyes. "Greetings," He purred smugly. "Welcome to Death, Matilda!" Matilda pulled away. "So it worked? I'm dead? Can I like.. Possess people?" She asked. "Of course not, we're not in fucking Beetlejuice, Matilda." The scribbled boy replied. Matilda frowned. "You're awfully rude for a ghost." She replied, biting her lip. The scribbled boy just sighed. "You're here because you died. I'm here to give you a second chance." He asserted. She turned away. "Why would I WANT a second chance? I took my life for a reason. I'm not going to sit here and let you change your mind." Matilda hissed bitterly. There was silence. "I..- You need justice Matilda. You know you want justice." More silence. She sighed, turning to him. "What do I need to do..?" 

  "I'll strike a deal with you," The boy started. "But first, let's get to know each other. I'm Louis. And I was killed in a boys bathroom!" He purred, putting his hand out. Matilda blinked. "Jesus Christ.. Will I end up that content?" She asked nervously. "Oh I'm not content! I'm secretly very depressed!" He giggled. Matilda anxiously shook Louis's hand. She hoped this wasn't a mistake and she was signing off her soul to the devil or something. "You seem to know my name, I'm Matilda.. Most people call me Tilly." She uttered. "Great, now I'll explain this." Louis purred. "I'm going to make you relive your worst part of life, starting from your first day of high school. I'll be guiding you away from suicide again. But if you snap, than you'll be a ghost like me forever. Deal?" Matilda nodded. "Deal."

    A cold silence held over Matilda. Darkness was her vision, that tingly feeling you feel when your foot falls asleep was her whole body. Did it not work? "Tilly!" A voice called. It was comforting, familiar, it warmed her. Dad! She thought. Matilda opened her eyes, seeing the ceiling fan that she had used to end her own life only minutes ago. Move it Tilly, it's your first day of high school.. again.. Louis sounded in her head. Matilda groaned as she got to her feet. This is one thing she didn't miss. School. The cause of all of her stresses and depression. Matilda trekked to her closet, opening it and looking at her array of clothing. Now this, she thought of. Her lovely clothing. Hoodies, shorts, bras, underwear, skirts, dresses, shirts, everything. Wow, Impressive.. Were you a little diva? Louis asked. Matilda could see his ghostly glare in the corner of her eye. "You know it beach." She responded, poking her tongue out. "So can I change things? Like do I have to wear every outfit?" Matilda asked. "Yup. The only things you can't change are what caused your suicide. Like.. you can't change Avis's change of heart." Louis responded. "Dammit." She grouched, choosing an outfit. 

     Once she was in her outfit, a white shirt with plaid shorts and long socks, Matilda headed downstairs, brush and messenger bag in hand. She saw her dad and screeched to a stop once she saw her step-mom. Libby. Matilda would never miss her. She was so obnoxious. You're thinking as if you will end up killing yourself again.. the point of this is to avoid it. Louis said. Matilda rolled her eyes. "I probably will." She growled. Her father turned his head. "What was that Tilly?" He asked. "Nothing." Matilda replied. She pushed away Louis's voice and looked at Libby. "Can you give me a ride to school?" Matilda asked. A part of her knew the answer. "Can't honeycomb. 'Gotta pick up my girlfriends." She replied in her thick New York accent. Like everyone else in New York, she denied she had an accent. "Tilly, you can walk. God gave you legs for a reason!" Her father chimed. Matilda huffed. Already a shitty start to her "second chance". It'll get better, come on! I'll walk with you! Louis smiled. 

Matilda walked next to Louis and she asked stupid questions. "So.. was your death painful?" She asked him. Louis rolled his.. eyes?? He didn't exactly have eyes. They were just scribbles, like some emo artist was bored and drew something MCR related and scribbled it out because "their art is so terrible!". Of course it was. I got stabbed in the stomach and chest. Louis replied. Matilda looked away, embarrassed and bit her lip. "I didn't feel much during mine." She finally chatted again. "It was a pain in the neck though." Matilda snickered. Humor at its finest. Louis sighed. You're talking to yourself. Louis smirked. Matilda came to a stop as she heard the other people walking whisper. Great.. maybe I WILL kill myself again.. 

The bus ride was like every other bus ride. Lonesome. Matilda sat alone on the bus, face smushed against the glass. Louis tried to talk to her, but she was still mad he let her babble like an idiot. They probably thought she was insane now. Matilda knew what stop was coming next. Avis's.. She hoped she could bend the rules a bit and still remain friends with her. No, you can't. You can't change anything. If you try, things will be worse. Louis sounded in her head. Avis sat next to her, and waved gently before plugging in her earbuds. Matilda left hers at home. She sighed, and looked out the window. Rain droplets fell and left their kiss marks on the window. Matilda blinked. She shuddered as she thought of her near future. Having to live through all that again.. maybe this wasn't worth it. 

School. 

Finally, the bus came to a final stop. The bus driver opened the door and Matilda stepped off. "Welcome Freshmen!" The wrinkly lady, known as Mrs. Bell, aka principal, greeted us. Matilda took a map, and sighed. I'm not ready for this Louis. She thought. Louis tried to comfort her, but all she heard was, Welcome back to hell.