Deceasedless [A Personal Journal] - on hold-

Christmas? Nah just snow.

Foggy Halloween Night

The bog layered over the lake like cake. Matilda stood, cloaked, feeling the sand between her toes. Voices pounded inside her head, banging on her skull to stop. Others whispered to do it, and that's all Matilda heard. It's funny how one bad voice can deafen all the good ones. Louis appeared in a transparent mist in front of Matilda cloudy eyes. "Don't do it," He begged. It wasn't in her head. He actually whispered this. "I need to." Matilda hissed, stepping onto the dock. She looked into the ripples, watching as they flowed elegantly together, weaving tiny waves. Matilda needed to go higher. She looked around. Nothing tall enough and easily accessible. Defeated, Matilda slumped over, dipping her feet into the water. The best part about tonight.. was it was Halloween.

Halloween, and here was Matilda, friendless in New Jersey, by a lake, about to commit suicide. Matilda didn't know what to do. So she just laid on the dock, sighing. Matilda felt her eyes get heavy.. Was it bad she could fall asleep here? She didn't let Louis answer before she knew the answer. Matilda got to her feet, pushing herself up. "I want tacos.." She mumbled sadly, stumbling home. 

Snow Day? IN NOVEMBER?!?!?

Matilda woke up with a red, snot-nosed illness. His father scolded her for being out so late, and that her step-mother heard the door. She rolled her eyes, about to get ready for school when her father told her it was a snow day. Matilda was surprised and looked outside. There was maybe a good 3 inches out there. She was so happy, and went back to bed. It was sleep time. Shouldn't we talk about last night? Louis sounded in her head.

There's nothing to talk about. Matilda replied bleakly, wrapping herself tightly in her blanket. 

Whatever. I'm not going to argue with out. Trying to get through to you is tougher than trying to get a cow out of mud.

Matilda texted Maggie and Sawyer, who soon added her into a group chat with the other YAA members. She smiled, and quickly added all their number with emojis. 

cutie maggie ❤: Let's run a bake sale for YAA's Club first impact!

soy bean sawyer 💕: sounds great! but how can brownies represent sadness?

matilda, (aka me): maybe cookies that have inspirational quotes?

rock star roxy 🎶  : that's so creative!

jo  🐱‍👤 : GAMER

frankster 🐱‍🐉 : I can bake them! We can meet up to decorate them! 

cutie maggie ❤: Alright, i'll organize this!

Matilda sighed, love struck. She loved her friends deeply.

soy bean sawyer 💕: hey tilly, mind if i come over to work on our project? 

Her face heated. What should she say? Louis was obviously upset with her..  

matilda, (aka me): of course! my address is [insert address].

soy bean sawyer 💕: hey, that's close by! i'll walk there. see you in fifteen! 

Matilda smiled. This day would be amazing.

History Project Time!!

Matilda waited by the door like a puppy waiting for it's owner to come back. Her father commented on how happy she looked, and Matilda just nodded. She hardly cared. She wanted to see Sawyer. 

Sawyer was here in no time, and he waved and commented on Matilda's hair. She smiled, pushing a strand back. "Come on, let's go up to your room! I brought my laptop! And Goldfish!" Sawyer purred. Nerves filled Matilda's throat. Being alone.. she tugged on her shirt sleeve slightly. Her parents would easily hear her if something went wrong. Matilda lead Sawyer up to her room, and sat down on her bed, staring at Sawyer anxiously. He noticed this and gave her a confused glance. "What's with the face?" Sawyer snickered, sitting next to her. Matilda gulped. What was with her face? "Matilda..?" He questioned, resting a hand on her shoulder. Why couldn't she move? Or respond? 

"I...I have to pee!!!" Matilda quickly excused, getting up and heading for the bathroom down the hall. She closed the door and slid down it with a huff. Matilda stared at her arm. Her own nail marks covered it. Who was she? The mirror would give her the answer, but at what cost? 

Matilda walked back into her room, wiping her eyes. Sawyer stared at her gently. His eyes asked; 'What's wrong?' and Matilda's answered; 'Nothing.' Sawyer gripped Matilda's hand. "Let's talk."