Ten Parts (Marco Bodt X Reader)

Part 1

        I watched in silent disgust a the titans broke through Wall Maria. It was all our fault that these people were dying. These normal innocent humans were dying and there was no reason for them to die. They had never done us any harm. They never would... We were at fault here. We let these awful things in. And karma would come for us one day.

I was not ready for anything that might happen to me, but if it meant that these people felt even slightly safer if I died or was harmed in any way, I was fine with that. I was fine with being in pain. These people were experiencing more than I ever could myself and so it was only fair if I felt that exact pain, if not more.

But how could I feel more? I'm just one person. I'm more than willing to take the burden of saving these people from myself and my friends if it meant that they weren't in pain anymore. If it meant that I could help them. I wanted to help them. I really did. But I couldn't.

I was the bad guy here. I was not supposed to be a kind loving person. I was supposed to kill anyone who suspected me. I was supposed to harm these people. I was supposed to destroy humanity. They were in a cage like cattle, trapped inside and with nowhere to run.

I was the reason they were dying...

Or was I?

After the fall of Wall Maria, I found myself and my friends, Reiner Braun, Bertolt Hoover, Annie Leondheart, behind the safe haven of the outlier district on Wall Rose, Trost.

We had to live in poverty like everybody else that had been at the fall of Wall Maria. People from the outlier district of Shiganshina, the weak spot in the walls that Bertolt had so effortlessly brought down, had all come to Trost, the other outlier districts of Wall Maria had gone into different parts behind Wall Rose where they believed they were safe. But after the fall of Wall Maria, I'm sure people realized that they weren't all happy and wouldn't all be safe and alive by a couple of years. Some might have thought that they could stay hidden, but they were wrong. We were already planning our attack on Trost. We would all grow up and join the military training camp when we were twelve and after three years of training with humans, we would once again find ourselves in battle with titans.

It was not a happy thought, but it was something that would have to happen. We were destined to tear down the walls, tear down the only hope that humanity had of living on. It was in our blood, our DNA, our parents, siblings, and friends all believed that we would bring us our own victory well causing the humans to fail. We were supposed to defeat these beings, and they didn't have a good way to fight us back. We knew more than they did. We couldn't know less with all our survival instincts, or skills, our knowledge.

They had no clue that humans were the things that titans were coming from. They didn't know that humans were the cause of these abominations. No... We weren't human. We were monsters. Creatures that killed because that's all we knew how to do. Killed because that's what we were told to do. We never questioned it. There wasn't a reason to. Not one that was easily seen. It was torture for us and for them. But we didn't know we were caught in the trap. We thought we were doing something good. We wanted to make our family and friends proud. Isn't that what all kids want to do?

But we can be blamed for what we've done.

Even as kids we should have realized the morals that humans had set. We should have noticed the toxic relations we had with our friends and families and government. We were trapped in their hold and we needed some way to escape. But we couldn't. There was no exit. Walls were the only things surrounding us.