Ten Parts (Marco Bodt X Reader)

Part 5

        "(Y/n). We need to talk. Now." I practically froze in my spot as I stared into Reiner's blue eyes. He was being dead serious. I needed to leave this happy time. I felt sick to my stomach... I had an idea of what this could be but I really didn't want to start to comprehend what was going on at such a perfect time in my life. I didn't want to think about leaving my friends yet. But they were the bosses, I was the lowly servant who barely skimmed by on not following the rules.

My body was tense, my blood felt cold, I could feel an underlying fear whelm up inside of my chest as I slid off of the bench. I wanted to turn to Marco and tell him my last goodbyes, tell him that it had been so much fun to be around him. Heck, I wanted to say bye to Jean too. But if I did that my team would know that I really did care about these humans and would take me away from them without batting an eyelash.

I was still holding on to the hope that they were just calling me for something important other than that of talk concerning my 'attachments'. I realized hoping was fatal, but just like the humans, it was all I could right now.

Reiner led the way, Annie filling in the spot to my right and Bertolt filling in the spot to my left. Did they think I was going to try to run away? Truth be told I was hoping I could. I wanted to get away from them...

Maybe I can turn this on them and prove that we can be our own people... I have yet to teach them that we're allowed to be us. Like the real us... A small heat passed through my cheeks and I felt like crying out all of my knowledge for the trio. They too deserved some redeeming hope that they weren't the monsters that everyone made them out to be. They weren't the monsters that those people back at home made us be.

Though deep down I knew that even if we had a redeeming moment we would still and always be demons, murderers, monsters, titans, robots, destroyers, it all came to us when we were born as what we were. It was only us. No one else could take the pain from this world better than us, the children who have grown up to be in this moment.

I knew they knew this, but still, I wished that they would let that drop so that I could speak my mind and feel safe at the same time.

Annie had her gaze on me like a hawk, making sure that I wasn't going to attempt to run away, and if I ever did I knew that in a heartbeat she wouldn't have a problem with attacking me.

Bertolt was watching me from time to time, his timid form, much like Marco's old self, was taking over his tall stature. He was holding himself, his eyes wary as he glanced around, at me, at the other cadets. I knew he had attempted making friends, rather that he had made friends even though he knew he shouldn't and had tried not to interact with other people, but it hadn't worked for him, or at least that's what the others believed. It was for the best that he had human friends.

Reiner was steadily walking us out of the mess hall, one step after the other, constant pounding on the ground each time he brought his foot down. He didn't look back, but still, I knew what he wanted. He wanted to keep his back away from me, give me a short hope that I could turn around and run without him realizing it. He wanted me to go so that he could make sure of his actions. Inside he was a gentle being that really only wanted to get home. It was human nature to want to be around people you know, people you feel safe around.

I had known that he had felt tense around humans, knowing that he can't make relations with them, knowing that he will have to kill them when the time comes. In a sense, he was a stronger version than me. He didn't let the ideals blind him, heck he probably knew that he could have his personality, but for the sake of our families back at home he kept up a front, pretended, or at least mostly, that he was a good friend of everyone here. Deep inside I knew that he felt that way but outside he gave off his vibe of 'Don't get on my bad side or else you might just die.'. I knew it was a heavy feeling that he carried around in his chest, constantly having to deal with the reminder that you are the predator and these humans that you trained to the bone with were the prey.