Ten Parts (Marco Bodt X Reader)

Part 3

        I had woken with a start, flinging myself out of my bed in a defensive position as I attempted to calm my beating heart. I was crouched low to the floor my arms in front of me, parallel to one another and one foot apart. I was breathing in shallowly as my gaze flew across the room, never landing or focusing on one thing.

The room was dark, still, like it had been the night before. I gulped some fresh air into my lungs and finally, my brain started to calm along with my heart. I took in a silent deep breath and let it out slowly as to keep oxygen in me.

I could feel my stance lower as my body came back to me. My legs and arms hurt and my head was pounding like crazy as if there was a ticking bomb and each second closer to the bomb self-imploding the pain got harsher and more dramatic.

My dream had come and gone, the only thing still in my head and memory was of Marco's scream. Why was he screaming? Was he being killed? By what? By who? Were the titans after him? Did a human kill him? Is he okay? Did... Did he die?

I felt pale and sick and I just wanted to step outside and hurl. It wasn't a nice feeling. Despite seeing so many people die, my first friend dying in front of me even, I couldn't help but feel nauseous for the thought of such an innocent kid dying so soon in life.

Once again I could feel it, the guilt that whelmed up inside of my being. What if I was the reason he had screamed? Had he seen the monster I had become? Did he know I killed people without batting an eye? Pain struck me harshly through the chest, searing like an inferno, boiling and boiling until it had met its finally max and spilled out of me a fresh steamy hot set of tears. It once again became hard to breathe, a sour taste filled my mouth each time I tried to drink in some air.

Nothing was working. I was freaking out and for good reason. He found out... Didn't he? Why else would he scream like someone had just betrayed him...? Nothing other than that makes sense...

My head continued to pound, constantly like an alarm clock, screaming at me to wake up and get back to reality, telling me that this is my karma for killing so many people.

And finally, I did. That's right... I've killed so many people and what has the world had to show for it yet? Nothing. It hadn't done a dang thing about getting rid of me, causing me the pain that I caused so many others. This was its revenge on me. This was the karma I had set myself when I attacked those innocent humans. It was only fair that I was being torn away from the only thing I started to care about, and so quickly.

No...

I wouldn't let these thoughts be the end of my friendship with Marco. The world can try and tear me away from him, but I won't accept it. All I have to do is lead away from the path of the villain, I can make my world alright again. I can stop doing the wrongs I've done...

But I can never reverse them...

And still, I need to pay for making these caged creatures suffer. It's the best thing I can do...

My entire body trembled as I stood still in that spot, my hands clenched into fists. I didn't want this to be the end of my first and last friendship. I wouldn't let my intoxicated thoughts call me out on this. Not this time, not for anything else that will happen to me and him. Call me crazy, call me obsessive, but how would you act if everyone you ever met told you one thing.

That you were meant to kill.

That you were supposed to be hope.