Endless: REWRITTEN

20. Sapphire

Natalie

As soon as I got wind of Robin leaving the hospital, I immediately went about contacting him. But he wasn't answering any of my messages or calls. Okay... he just went through an experience... let's give him a couple of days.

After two days without my efforts, he finally gets back to me in the most infuriating way. A simple text: sorry, I moved, lol. Here's the new address.

I know you moved, you dingbat. How the fuck are you?

Nevertheless, as soon as he dropped me the address, I told him I was coming over to see him the following night. Now I'm here, standing in a shady building with the hallway walls covered in graffiti and cursive letters. Sometimes, I really think Robin perpetuates the stereotype of 'criminal' just due to the situations he gets himself into, and he's completely content with that. I dig my nails into the sleeve of my green sweater as he swings open the door.

He looks... better. Not 100% or as 100% as I've seen him before, but he doesn't look as dazed or exhausted as I've seen him in the hospital.

"You're just in time for dinner," he smiles, letting me inside. I see that next to what I presume would be a mattress is a carefully laid out blanket with catered-in bowls of noodles.

The effort and/or idea is so low maintenance that I have to giggle. "What?" he defends. "I'm trying. Money is tight."

"No," I tell him. "It's... simple. I'm not used to it." His smile falters, so I quickly add, "I like it."

"Thanks," he sighs. "I... figured we should have something to distract us a little bit while... I explain myself."

I nod slowly. "Sure."

And so he goes. We sit on the blanket and eat while he explains the whole story, from the beginning of being in a meaningful relationship with this girl and wanting to marry her, through the part where she completely disregarded everything they had together and slandered his name, to the very end of his actions and the consequences he endured to pay for them. I'm not going to lie, hearing his story didn't make him that much more appealing. That's not to say that it didn't work at all, because at least I know he's not an intentional serial murderer. But he's a loose cannon, and that unsettles me.

"Can I ask questions?" I say after he finishes.

"Shoot."

I swallow hard. "Do you think that's still the answer?"

"No," he answers immediately. "I... I wish I did things differently. But that's not to say that I wish they'd gone differently. It is what it is, and I can't waste time feeling bad about it."

"I understand that." It's a weird way of stating that he feels no regret that the situation happened because he's learned from it. Well, that, or he feels zero remorse for what he's done, which I completely expect as well.

"I didn't get a thrill out of it." His face looks like he's making more sense of the situation. "I remember feeling extremely anxious about it. Someone had to go down for this, and it was probably going to be me. But...I was seventeen. I had plans, and... I wanted to at least try." He chuckles ruefully. "Can't be a full-fledged criminal if I don't try to get away with it, right?"

"Let's keep in mind that this is still wildly wrong, okay?"

"Yes, of course."

"And...I have every reason to walk away and never associate myself with you again."

"I wouldn't blame you."