Endless: REWRITTEN

24. Red Coral

A/N: Song to the top didn't make it into the soundtrack, but it gets an honorable mention. Play it after the scene divider. 

Natalie

Robin and I have our first fight in mid-November.

It was bound to happen. We're two different people in a relationship, so there's bound to be something we disagree on. And with our heighted state of emotions due to our equally messed up mental states, everything seems ten times more serious than it actually is. I say this now, but in the heat of the moment, I didn't realize this.

It starts with me giving him a copy of the key to my apartment after dinner.

"I can't accept this," he tells me.

I frown. "Why not? You're basically here all the time. Might as well make it easier for you."

"Yeah, I get that, but we've only been together for four months. This is basically you asking me to move in, which I can't do, either."

"It may have only been four months, but we've been through a lot together in those four months. I've literally seen you at your worst within the span of one month."

"I just...I don't want to go too fast, y'know? I don't want to rush things."

I huff out an indignant laugh. "Kind of too late for that."

"I hate to break it to you, but sex is a little different than moving in together."

"No one's asking you to move in with me. Some of your stuff is already here and you call me every other night to let you in. I might as well give you a key to make things easier. Also, sex is just as important to me as letting you into my space since they sort of mean the same thing to me."

"I didn't—" He sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Listen, it's more than just not moving in together. I've never had a place of my own before, and I finally have the studio downtown. I know it's not much compared to this, but it means a lot to me. I don't want to keep jumping from place to place."

"You act like moving in with me is the most terrifying thing in the world," I frown deeply. "Not that I'm even asking you to move in, like I've said before. But why is the idea so bad?"

"It's not bad, we just need more time."

I let out a snort. "Robin, I wouldn't even ask you to move in with me until we've been together for at least a year."

"You don't need to say that at my expense."

"Fine." I toss the key onto the table. "Never mind. Forget about it."

"Why are you upset?"

"I'm not upset," I shrug. "I thought you would accept the key, thinking of the convenience, but you're treating it like it's a marriage proposal."

"Fine, let's say that I do accept the key and use it to my full advantage. I'm here basically all of the time, so I might as well move in. For convenience. And we get sick of each other fast because we didn't let this grow before moving onto the next step."

"This isn't a step-by-step tutorial, this is a relationship. We can go as fast or as slow as we want."

"Well, I think we've run into a disagreement."

I bark a laugh, running a hand over my face. The thing about Robin is that whether he's mentally healthy or not, he's still such a calculator. Everything has to make mathematical sense to him or it won't work. And I feel like that stems from the fact that the last time he acted irrationally, it led to his conviction. However, there is such a thing as a happy middle, which he doesn't understand. Sometimes he can't choose between loving unconditionally and loving logically.