short crush / love stories

Afraid of Myself

Marion+Parker
Marion POV
He was my friend I met last year. Confident and sometimes had an egotistical side of him, he was nice to all people. And I didn't get it at all. Maybe that's the reason why he pulled me in. I was starting to get attracted to him so easily, and he knew me. He figured me out. It was just hard to read him.
"Marion," Parker said, "You can't jump the fence if you are gonna be such a big baby."
"Easy for you to say," I remarked, "You didn't have surgery on your damn knee."
"You just think too much. You won't get hurt. I'm here."
Sure, I did think too much. But I didn't want him to help me and to show weakness and vulnerability. I learned that. I mean he wasn't the guy to dominate me because of that, I trusted him I did. I just was so damn worried. He was so tall, 6'4 and looked way older than me. He had a mustache and beard and was about 240. I was little, 5'2 and had an extreme baby face.
We were going to meet at Culvers because we didn't have any money to go anywhere else. Now we took a walk because we didn't know what to do. It was different than usual times when we hung out, well first I was getting feelings for him and secondly we were usually with a group of friends, or at school. We only hung out alone 6 times, and there was barely any pressure.
He was the one who introduce me to his whole entire group of friends, and I got more sociable because of it, even though it was so noticeable that I was a scaredy cat. Before I knew him, I was an unpopular nerd at my highschool. I still am, but I had more friends.
I started squirming and finally I got myself in a position to put my left leg over. I had confidence and I was embarrassing myself too much.
"You are thinking too much Mary—it's just—"
"Shut up," I exclaimed.
He laughed and mimicked me. "Shut up."
I rolled my damn eyes. I went over the fence by lifting up my left leg. Finally, I jumped off the fence and stood up.
"You see, not scary huh." He smiled.
I was wearing my good cute polo shirt from Forever 21. I wanted to look a little special and make somewhat of an impression. Because I thought I looked so ugly and repulsive.
We just jumped the elementary schools fence. This wasn't the elementary school I went to, more like other kids I knew did.
"What park? You choose."
"Uuh..." I stumble nervously, "that one."
I walk to the downhill path to the playground and twitch when I feel somebody feeling my hair.
"Is your hair color on the ends blonde?"
I scoff. "Parker you've known me for a long time I—"
"Yeah it seems new," he says, "usually you would go all blonde."
I shrug. "People were making fun of me I couldn't-"
"I mean blonde on the ends look nicer, but you didn't look bad as a blonde."
"It didn't look natural," I tell him, "but I dyed it all back anyway how do you notice my ends now?"
"I've always noticed. But they look so nice." He smiles.
"Where did you get that done? I could refer to my sister."
"Taylor? She's 10."
"I know." He laughs.
We are finally up near the playground, on the wood chips. He walks near the slide and sits down on the stairs. I stop near the entrance.
"So now what?" He asks. He's at my height now sitting down.
"I—don't know." My eyes look everywhere.
"Hey," He gets closer.
I back away instantly.
"I had 2 questions: what's up with the weird eye contact and being so far from me. Do I stink or something?"
"Uh..No..." I sigh.
"Marion, what's wrong. Tell me. You are acting weird-which isn't bad-"
"I—m sorry. You know me I'm socially awkward." I make up a bullshit excuse.
"It's okay, but you really aren't. You know. You just gotta open up to the person. I mean once you open up your wall softens up. But I can wait for that. I don't care."
"What do you me—an?" I ask.
"I've been dealing with it, you are really cautious and I understand why. Especially how those assholes at Marner treat you."
I look down.
"When you are just going through something...I'm sorry about all of that."
"It's okay..." I kick my feet back nervously.
My only friend who wasn't friends with Parker, Lucy, thought we were cute together. I usually got it out of my mind. I felt like Parker acted more of my helper and social teacher. He taught me many things and I've learned a lot from him. I wish that wasn't terrible.
"Why won't you look up at me? You have nothing to worry about. I look at you everyday during school. This isn't different,"
I kick him in the shins. "You say you understand me, but do you really understand me? If you did understood me then you wouldn't be fucking criticizing." I look the other way.
"Hey! Marion, that was mean!" He exclaims.
"I wasn't criticizing you at all, I just noticed it. You are doing fine." He tries to reassure me.
I stared at the darkness. My polo was too short for me to be outside like this. I was basically shivering in the cold.
"I'm so cold," I complain.
He does the unthinkable and something that even surprised me.
He comes over to me. "I got you, let me warm you up."
He takes his long arm and puts it around my shoulder. I flinch. I never knew it would happen. But I accept it. I come closer to him and put my arms around him. I hug him sideways to warm myself up. I can barely see him, nor did I want to, I was really embarrassed.
I was like a little doll compared to him while he was a teddy bear. Even once he rested his cheek on my head. There was dead silence.
"So," he looks at the sky. "How's your knee?"
"I hate PT," I say.
"Why? Because you are a crippled?"
I get out of his arms and elbow him. Then, I come back and he still lets me in again. But this time his finger tips were circling around on my shoulder.
"Marion, that's mean," he says.
"I don't care about you," I laugh.
"You do. Watch this magic trick."
I scoff. "What."
"Turn your head to the left, away from me a little bit."
"Fine," I said.
I wait for his little magic trick. There was probably no magic trick. He probably just lied and then I would be easily tricked, not by a true magic trick. But suddenly, I can feel a little stroke of hair prickling on my cheek. Next, he kissed me on the cheek. I'm blushing and smiling.
"God damn, Mary, how beautiful you are...gorgeous. I know why the day I met you, I instantly fell no matter how shy you were. Everything you do is so freaking adorable."
Instantly, I smile but I take it back. I start looking down and blushing.
"See, I proved my point Mary," he smirks, "you care for me."
I sneered at him and slapped him.
"You want me." He winks.
He wasn't wrong...but I couldn't tell him that.
"But you have me," He proceeds to secure his grip on me.

A//N : somewhat an IRL re-enactment of a date with this guy
this is only somewhat have a real inspiration
He ghosted me and hit up the dms again so I'm stressed out now again

So reading this story makes me cringe