A Letter I'll Never Send

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My dear sweet Allen,

the love of my life...

There's something I need to tell you

-- something I can't hide...


For the past few suns

and the past few moons...

I've been doing wrong quite lately.

I've been doing wrong to you...


I know you've always told me

"Babe, it's alright..."

But 'til now, it still hurts me

that I never do right...


I'm clumsy. I'm selfish.

I'm bossy and rude...

I act like a child.

I easily change my mood...


I try my best to change

or become better too...

But I always end up failing

to be the best just for you...


I'm sorry that I'm nothing,

that I'm breaking apart...

that I am too emotional,

that I'm breaking your heart...


I always ruin everything,

even if they're little things...

I'm sorry. I'm overthinking

-- overthinking of everything...


My jokes aren't funny.

My comments aren't good...

My reactions are just terrible.

I always misunderstood...


Misunderstood what you say,

Misunderstood what you mean...

I'm so sorry, Allen, but

you deserve more than me.... ...

I hope you find someone

mature and so smart...

Someone who is patient,

who's also good with art...


Someone who is beautiful

Inside and even out...

Someone who is worth it

Someone who you'd think about...


Every morning, every night

Until the world ends...

Someone who would love you.

A great lover. A great friend...


You were just a happy moment,

that came to pass by...

But now, it is all over...

It's time to say goodbye...


Thank you for everything,

for the care and the love...

But someone else needs you more than me.

You need more than enough...


I know you will find someone

So much better and so great...

You deserve better than a spoiled brat,

So please, you don't have to stay...


Be happy, my sweet dear Allen,

Trust me, this is for the best...

I want you to be very happy

Even thought I'm hurting in my chest...


Goodbye, my dear sweet Allen,

I'll cheer you on everyday...

Until the day that you find someone

who can bring a brighter smile on your face...


Sayonara... 





October 1, 2019

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