What I'd Really Say

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To Allen:



My mind is filled with endless thoughts

and they're mostly about you... 

But these thoughts aren't even good,

'cause one says "I'm breaking up with you..."


Sure, we seem fine right now. 

We seem just okay... 

I guess it's 'cause I'm so anxious 

about us every day... 


I've been doing wrong lately. 

I've been clumsy and a brat... 

I whine and cry and overthink. 

And you don't deserve that... 


I try my best just for you. 

I try to become better... 

But every day, I often fail, 

so I end up even sadder... 


I'm very very sorry, my love. 

I'm such a bad friend and lover... 

I'm like an underrated book

with bad content and cover... 


But even though I feel like this, 

like a totally big disaster... 

I still love u no matter what, 

so each day, I try harder... 


I try to grow and also change 

even if it may take forever... 

'cause no matter how many times pain gets me, 

I still want us together...




October 1, 2019

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