The Two Middles

Chapter 20: And the Walls Kept Tumbling Down

"Aubrey." Poke.

Ignore it. 

No! talk to him! 

Another poke, "Aubrey.."

Turn around and talk to him!

No! Ignore it! It's awkward. 

"Aubrey!"

Just speak to him, goddamit! 

Do NOT speak to him! Put your walls up!

TALK TO HIM! I'M GOING CRAZY!

WALLS! UP!

Stop fussing over nothing! Just talk to him!

"AUBREY!" Poke poke poke.

Honestly, this is tiring. Turn. Around. And talk to him, you big wuss.

Put your walls up! Do not abort mission! Do NOT abort mission! Put the goddamn walls up!

You know you're gonna have to speak to him sooner or later; you can't ignore him forever.

I sighed, turned around and said, "Hey."

And the walls kept tumbling down in the ci-

Oh shush!

"What's wrong with you?" Jaden asked, as he fell into step with me.

"Nothing, why?" 

"Well, because I've been calling your name for the past three minutes and you haven't responded."

"Oh," what the hell am I supposed to say to this now?! "I, uh, didn't hear you?" 

Oh of course you didn't hear him when he was practically shouting in your ear!

Slowly, he nodded and then said, "And you're gonna tell me you didn't feel this?" he poked my arm again.

I nodded. He sighed, "Fine," and kept walking with me. 

We walked in silence that was hella awkward. But that could be because of my feelings for the boy next to me. I still couldn't fathom that I had a crush on Jaden Davis - my friend. Aubrey, you big screw up. 

Ever since I'd figured I liked Jaden, I was scared. I was seriously scared that he'd find out about my feelings somehow and get disgusted and leave. I was scared that I would accidentally let something slip and it would ruin everything. Needless to say I was a little awkward around him lately. Well, this was the first time I'd seen him this week, since it's Monday, so it's safe to say that I will be a little awkward around him for sometime, just until I grow used to this little crush and crush the crush and get rid of it. Just because I'd accepted my feelings didn't necessarily mean I actually wanted them to be there. It's like this - suppose I have a five year old that means the world to me, and this kid of mine brings home a puppy one day and begs that he can keep it. I don't want to keep the puppy, because it's going to be a nuisance, but I also don't want my kid to be upset that he can't keep it, so I accept the puppy into my home, but literally can't wait till it gets out of it. Replace the puppy with my crush, the kid with my heart, and me with my brain, and there you have it - my feelings in a nutshell. More or less.

Jaden suddenly increased his pace, came and stood in front of me, took me by the shoulders and shook me, "Aubrey, honestly, stop zoning out. It's freaking me."

I blinked, "Huh? Right, sorry. What's up?" Then I realized that he was never early in the morning - swim practice almost always delayed him. "How come you're here? Swim practice let out early?"