The Two Middles

Chapter 37: I Don't Bite

I feel stupid about this, but good.

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"Kids are cute. It's just when they shit their pants or puke all over you do you realize how menacing they can really be."

"Really Jaden? Mia's adorable, annoying or not. She's your little sister!"

"More like little monster."

"Where is she, anyway?"

I balanced the phone in between my shoulder and ear, picking dirty laundry up from the bedroom floor. 

"Playdate."

"Aw, that's cute!" Ugh, soup-stained T-shirt from last night. It's somehow still moist.

"Yeah yeah yeah. We all know Mia's the adorable-est baby on the face of the Earth, now can we please talk about something else?"

"I just found my soup stained T-shirt from last night's dinner lying on my bedroom floor. It's still wet, and it's disgusting."

"I'm crushing on a guy."

"That makes you gay, I guess. Though I didn't think you'd lose your feelings for me that easily."

"You're the guy, Aubrey."

"GASP! How do you know?!"

"Well, it's pretty obvious you hide your male parts between your legs."

"Yeah, I have big ones. It gets pretty hard to hide them sometimes. Pun intended."

"I refuse to be talking about a non-existent dick being big."

"Fine, then. What're you doing?"

"Well I was trying to paint before you called me-"

"You called me!"

"Tomato-tomahto. But I was trying to paint, and had literally no inspiration, since I was out of paint."

"So you decided to call me just because you were bored?"

"Basically."

"What happened to the days when people used to have shaking hands and fluttering hearts because their crushes smiled at them?"

"Gone are those days. I like you, so I talk to you."

"Why'd you talk to me before you had feelings for me, then?"

"I am not discussing this with you."

"Why?"

"Because it just feels weird."

"What feels weird?"

"Talking about the girl I like with the girl I like. For some reason it feels weird today."

"Why's it weird?"

"Didn't you just hear what I said?"

I wanted to keep Jaden talking about this, because it would be easier to tell him about my feelings for him if we were already discussing the topic. I didn't want to just spring it on him, you know. Let me explain. This is exactly what I didn't want the conversation to be like:

Jaden: I went to the zoo today, and I saw such a cool tiger.
Me: Mhm..
Jaden: It was so awesome, with the stripes and everything, and-
Me: I like you.
Jaden: *dies of shock*

But I decided to give it a bit of a rest before starting up again. I didn't want to embarrass him too much, either.

Feigning exasperation, I said, "Okay, what do you wanna talk about."