Stone Cold Heart

♡ Chapter 23 ♡

My anxiety levels were rising and I wasn't sure I was going to make it to the hospital. My eyesight was going bad. I couldn't see the signs correctly. I needed to make it to the E.R before I fainted. If I lose any more blood I could faint and possibly, end up in a car accident. I had to breathe so I won't end up having a panic attack. I breathed slow enough to get it under control.
I learned to control it the night that I thought I was going to do something stupid, on those nights Scott didn't return home for days on end. He would usually be the one I'd call to help me out of the panic state. But I didn't need him because it was like I was living alone all these years anyway. When I finally got to the ER, I almost lost my balance going into the entrance, that is until someone caught me. I didn't know who it was because I felt light-headed and out of it. All I could remember was the doctor said "someone get me a gurney! This woman is bleeding!"
When they got me to the ER, they had put me on anesthetics to numb the pain. I woke up from the surgery the doctor asked "May I ask, who are you?"
"Mariana but call me Marie"
"Okay, Marie do you know where you are?"
"Yes"
"Do you have anyone on your emergency contact list?"
I rubbed my eyes and responded "Yeah"
"Okay, I just checked and there your husband Scott Hughes—"
My heart rate skyrocketed when that name was mentioned I immediately said "He's out of my life"
"Okay and the Marissa Fuller?"
"I'll call her and explain she's my children's godmother and my best friend"
"Speaking of which may you explain what happened to you that you almost came in here collapsed from exhaustion and a bullet wound in your hand?"
"That um...I uh..." I was trying to think of something but the terror took over me like a wave. I burst out crying and he asked: "Why are you crying, Miss?"
"I'm too overwhelmed, can you give me a minute."
"Sure, but you have to explain all of this."
When he left the room that's when I really broke down. I was filled with mixed emotions, I was sad at the fact that I lost my everything, but I was relieved because I know I didn't have to live in constant fear, and I can finally protect my children. When the doctor came back, he asked "Are you okay?"
"Yes"
I tried to lift my hand but one was in a wrap and the other had an IV, I asked "Why do I have two I. V's?"
"One is giving you a blood transfusion and the other is hydrating you, now can you tell me what's going on?"
"Well...I was in a fight"
"With who because from the looks of it you got in a lot of fights"
"Yeah...uh short temper" I lied to him
"Oh, okay, and that nasty wound?"
"Yeah the uh girl tried to pull a gun on me and we tussled for it and things got out of hand, the gun went off and one bullet shot through my hand"
"Well you are certainly lucky because from the looks of the defense wound this girl really had a grudge against you, she really was trying to kill you, if she would have hit a vessel you would have had to get your hand cut"
"What?!"
"Yeah but she only hit your second knuckle"
"Thank God"
"Is it going to take longer to heal"
"Well sadly, yes but the myth is that the stretched tissue is torn apart. The truth is that tissue is elastic, and it is stretched and then rebounds to its original location within the body. The stretching may cause some bruising of the tissues, but the actual shock wave itself does not disrupt tissues."
"Thank God"
"Certainly"
"What exactly did y'all have to do?"
"Well after we were finished stitching up the wound and repairing your hand, my team examined your body and did minor surgery on my left rib and stitched this gash you had on your left forearm. We saw bruises and whelps as well...where you abused if I may ask?"
"No....yes...no it-it was a long time ago"
"Well according to the law, I have to report this"
"Please don't it was a while ago so you don't have to do that!" I said in a panic
"Did your h—ex-husband do that?"
"Yes," I sighed as I bowed my head trying not to think about what happened tonight.
"Where is he?"
"I-I don't know"
"Well we can't do anything about that now but about the girl, if you could give me a description, we—"
"I don't remember her face because I was blacked out"
"Okay, well you need to stay here for a few more hours so we can have a close eye on you and this wound"
"Okay"
"I need to go see another patient but in a few a nurse will be here to clean your wound"
"Okay" when he left. I made sure that no one was out in the hall before I snuck out of the room and out of the hospital. I couldn't stay here because I know that these doctors lie, I know he is going to try and pressure me to answer questions about Scott and I didn't want to deal with him anymore.  He's dead to me. I got back into my car and I didn't go to Chassidy's I just had left, actually checked into a motel to take a shower and clean myself up. I just needed to clear my head and get away from all of this. As I slipped off my bloody clothing from my body, I'm left with nothing but scars and bruises on me. The wound that is on my rib is healing and I got the surgery done for the bullet hole in my left hand, but the doctor said I had to keep it covered at all costs and make sure I clean it three times a day.

When the tub was done, I wrapped the injured hand with a waterproof dressing, so I can be able to take a shower. After doing that I got in and let the warm water pass down my body covering me from head to toe, as I stare into space, just replaying the events in my head. Lately, I have been suffering from insomnia because if I try to fall asleep, the thoughts of him pop up in my mind. I know that I'm safe but something is telling me he'll be back. I'm terrified of what he would do to me? What if he hurt my children? What if I never get to leave him?
I thought of all the possibilities of what might happen if he returns that I didn't even realize that the water was getting a bit cold which jerked me out of my vacant mindset. I grabbed my sponge and body wash and poured it onto the sponge then wet and began to wash my body being careful not to touch the stitches near my right rib cage. When I was finished, I dried my body first then I took another towel and dried my hair. Then I sat on the bed and began to put on a pair of panties, jeans, bra, and my old army shirt my dad gave me, before passing before my 16th birthday.
Then I grabbed my red sketchers and put them on then I grabbed my jacket before heading to my car. When I got into the car, I just sat there still...just thinking. To get my mind focused I went into my purse and got my antidepressants and took about three of them, before heading on the road to Chassidy's house. I did all my crying the first two nights I stayed at that motel. I had no reason to cry because I know now that he never really loved me, so maybe if I don't cry anymore, I won't feel the pain of losing the only man that was my everything. I wanted to cry so many times but I know that if I do, I will be letting him win, and I will never let that happen again.