Stone Cold Heart

♡ Chapter 25 ♡

    "So, Marie tell me how you are feeling today. I know today is a hard day for you"
    "Yeah it has been but I'm fine. My kids are okay and they have been keeping me from being depressed instead I cried tears of joy because we were free."
    "That's fantastic how do you feel about the past two years"
    "Well... two years after everything...now that I think about it, it has become easier for me to cope and express. At first, it was difficult for me to cope for the first year. But all I had to do was not worry about myself all too much but more so my children...who were suffering just as much as I was. But we are closer than ever now."
    "That's amazing. Is it difficult to work sometimes?"
    "Well when you get case files that have someone abused and kill...it is sometimes is difficult yes. But I remember my recovery and who I am staying strong for"
    "That's amazing"
    "Also, I'm doing what I love because it's like a double whammy...but in a good way. I get to save lives and lock away the perp"
    "That's good...well or time is up for today, see you next week."
    "Thanks, Melissa"
    "Have a good day"
    "You too well I have to get going"
    "Okay"
          I'm so grateful that my children are safe but little do they know I sometimes have nightmares of Scott one day finding us. I'm so terrified of that happening. I'm so scared that they won't get to see me the next day. But I can't tell anyone this dark fear because I don't want to burden anyone. They don't deserve my pain. I took a deep breath and said to myself, "Don't be scared staying strong is what counts now and forever"
        I was at home when I got a call from Kenny's therapist. She had told her about what Scott did to her back then. I really didn't want to deal with this again. When I went to pick her up, I started yelling in so much anger. "Why Mac...why the fuck did you do that. I thought you were fine that nothing was bothering you."

    "But mom you don't understand I wasn't at peace yet and that was killing me"
    "You could've talked to me I'm right here you know you can talk to me about anything. I thought we moved passed this"
    "I'm sorry mom I didn't mean it"
    "What were you getting out if telling a stranger?"
    "I thought I can trust her I just needed to release how I felt"
    "But you could've told me"
    "You're always working and you know I have bad timing with everything."
    "You have to learn to bite your tongue when necessary Mackenzie!"
    "I'm sorry"
    "Now look what you have done... I might lose you and your brother because of DHS you know I don't like them. They tried to take you and your brother away before. I can't afford to lose y'all"
    "I know"
    "If you knew all of this why did you do it?"
    "I was feeling vulnerable I wasn't in the right state of mind and you screaming isn't making things better"
    "How am I supposed to react when I finally got my kids safe and they might get separated! God knows what's going to happen tomorrow!"
    "I'm sorry"
    "You know what just please just go to your room!" I ordered her.
            Without a word, she left the living room heading up to her room. I couldn't deal with this; I can't believe this is happening again. Why would she bring up something that happened almost three years ago? I thought things were fine with us. I guess I was wrong. For me not to panic I poured myself a glass of wine. I trying to relax in silence just trying to gather my thoughts together on what should be going to happen tomorrow. God, I don't know what to say to the caseworker. I took little sips out of the rounded glass staring at nothing.
        God, what do I do now? I can't tell the caseworker about what happened the last night I was with Scott. I couldn't tell them that I was the one to point the gun to him too. I couldn't let my children know the truth even if it killed me. So much has changed for two years ago. I don't allow doors to be locked. I and super overprotective of mason and Mac for their safety that I don't even let them sleep over anyone else's house other than Chassidy and my sister's because they are close with my children and I trust them enough. Mirrors are limited. Indoor doors stay open except the bathroom that's the on acceptance for privacy. I let Mackenzie have a phone but her calls are monitored. I coached mason and Mackenzie on what to do if the feel in danger. Call 911 or me. Most importantly there will be absolutely no secrets in this house. I don't want to be strict on them but I have to because I don't know if Scott is still out there. God knows where he is so that's why I had to be super cautious. My silence was interrupted when suddenly I heard Mason yell from the top stairs "Mami come was me!"
    "I'll be up," I said before taking the last sip of red wine. I really needed this mini-break from all the chaos that has been going on with Mackenzie and Mason and the police force. I fixed my jeans and went upstairs to cater to Mason. He was running around the hall freeballing. I picked him up and said, "Now why aren't you in there yet?"
    "I was mama but I was waiting for you"
    "No excuses now get in there so I can wash that little tushy of yours" he giggled and went into the bathtub. I grabbed his washrag and started washing him either my good hand. Whenever max or Mac would ask me about my hand, I would tell them my wrist was healing. I couldn't tell them about the bullet scar that I had to get four operations on to fix it.
            The doctor gave me an antibiotic cream so it would become infected again after surgery. He had said that due to the bullet going through my hand in its angle it had crushed the tissue it causing major damage which in the beginning made me have temporary cavitation. The impact of the tissue damage could have caused deformation but luckily for me, it didn't. I'm almost done healing because our muscles are more elastic so it started healing after the 2nd operation. However, since it fractures some of my small bones of fingers, nerve, and minor blood vessels. I had to go for follow up surgeries that took three to five months at a time to heal. But the doctor said I had to go to three more weeks of physical therapy and my hand will be brand new again.