Not Your Lap Dog |Reggie Mantle|

Chapter Fifteen

I wake up and see that it's still dark. I look over and see Reggie laying next to me. We still weren't touching but we were a lot closer than when we fell asleep. I sit up slowly and bury my head in my hands. "Fuck," I whisper. I didn't mean to fall asleep. I didn't realize how tired or how drunk I really was. I'm glad I was sober enough to not do anything stupid.

I stand and slowly walk to the door. I turn back to look at him and he looks really cute when he's sleeping. I mean he looks like a mess but in a very cute way. "See you later my favorite Alpha," I whisper before leaving the room. I hope he's still asleep and didn't hear that or any of the conversation we had. I've got a fifty-fifty chance on whether he'll remember or not. It's a random chance when he's drunk. Sometimes he remembers nothing, others he remembers nothing. Not that there is anything that happened that he doesn't remember and I wish I could forget.

I slowly walk past all the people who are sleeping on the floor. I slowly open the front door and see Jay sitting on the porch. She turns and looks very pissed off.

"How long have you been here," I ask and she stands to stare at me. She doesn't respond, grabbing my wrist and dragging me away.

We stop a few blocks away and she turns quickly. "What the fuck were you thinking when you split from Fangs and Sweet Pea. "We're trying to protect you from that asshole or do you not want that anymore and did you just want to waste everyone's time," she yells and I can feel my hands shaking and I can feel tears falling fast.

"Don't you get it," I snapped and she seemed shocked. "I don't know anymore. I'm not supposed to know that. Maybe Reggie really does like me, maybe he doesn't. I don't know if I have feelings for him. Maybe the Reggie I saw tonight was just temporary or maybe that's who he is when he quits acting like an ass. I don't feel safe around him and I was terrified when I was alone with him. I know he's an asshole Jay. I just... Fuck," I yell out and sit on the ground. "I don't know if what I'm feeling is real or not. You have no idea what that's like. I can't tell if I really want to forgive him or not," I say and she sits next to me. It's silent for a long time.

"Look, I'm sorry that you have to go through this.I really am, but when the other Serpents find out, they're going to want me to take protection away. I'm sorry, but I'm just going to do it now. It took so much work to get this position and I am not losing it to save you. If you figure out what you want, then we can talk," she says and then she's gone.

What the fuck do I do? I knew going with Reggie was a bad idea, but it just felt right in the moment and I don't think I regret it. Where do I go? I can't go home. My parents would figure out I was lying. I don't know where Cheryl, Betty or Archie are right now and I don't want to just show up at their houses. I'm sure that I'm not welcome back at Fangs and Sweet Pea's right now. I could go back inside, but I'm scared that something will happen if I do.

I begin to walk with no destination in mind. I ended up at a small field after almost half an hour of walking. I look around and see nobody. I walk to the center and lay down. I stare at the sky as the sun rises and begin to cry again. I'm alone. I don't like to be alone. That's when I start to remember things.

The dreams I'd been having had become so much clearer. They weren't just dreams. I don't want to remember him and everything that happened between us. I hate it. Why was I remembering all of this? I wasn't supposed to.

I feel hands touch my shoulders and I'm snapped back to reality. I look up and see Fangs staring down at me. I wrap my arms around him and begin to sob into his shoulder. He hugs me back and lets me cry for a long time.

"Are you okay," he asks after I calm down and I shake my head.

"No. I'm not okay. I'm not okay," I whisper and look up at him. "What are you doing here? I'm not under Serpent protection any more. You don't have to worry about me," I say and he smiles softly.

"You're my friend. I genuinely care about you. Not just because Jay wanted us to protect you," he says and I smile at him.

"Does your boyfriend know you're here," I ask and he nods.

"He's more loyal to the Serpents than I am. I mean I'm loyal, but I don't walk on eggshells to please them. We're still allowed to talk to you, but we aren't supposed to fight for you anymore. Sweet Pea just thought it would be better to stay away from you," he whispers and I lean against his shoulder.

"I wish I was dead," I say after a long moment of silence. He looks at me in shock.

"Why? Why would you ever want that," he yells and I look down at my hands.

"It would be so much easier than dealing with all of this shit," I whisper and look away from him. "Who would even care? I'm just another Omega. There are hundreds of others out there," I say and play with the gold ring on my middle finger. It was new in a way. At least it feels new. I didn't remember why I had it before and why it felt important.

"You aren't just an Omega. You're an amazing person and you deserve a good and long life," he says and I smile at him. It's silent again for a long time.

"How did you know you had feelings for Sweet Pea," I ask and he thinks for a moment.

"I just knew, I guess. I don't know how to explain it, but I have known I was in love with him for a long time. Why do you ask," he says and I look at him for a moment as it registers.

"I don't know if I have feelings for him or not. Sometimes it feels like it could be possible for us to be together and other times it doesn't seem possible. It's weird and impossible to really explain," I say and reach my hand around to take off the collar. "I don't need this anymore," I say and drop it off the ground. "Can you tell Sweet Pea thanks for letting me stay, but I won't make things awkward between you and the gang," I say and stand up.

"What are you going to do? You can't live on the streets," he says and I force a smile.

"I know someone who will let me stay the night. I'll try and figure out something more permanent later," I say and I can tell he's trying to figure out who I mean.

I hugged him, knowing that he wouldn't be happy if he figured it out.

"Please be careful and call if you need anything."

...

My hands shake as I find the courage to knock on the door. It swings open and he smirks when he sees me.

"Any chance I could stay here tonight," I ask and he nods. "Thank you Mr. Lodge."