Beautiful Burn || Chris Cornell

8

Tacoma, Washington April 21 1992

The sun had long sunk behind the mountains giving off the most gorgeous pink hue. The early spring scent fills my lungs as I take in a deep breath of that mountain air. The air was cool but then again it was April. As I pull my leather jacket closed, I hear the sliding glass door open and a voice deep but comforting.

"So, you like that or what?"

It was Kim Thayil, closing the sliding glass door, handing me a beer and then sitting down next to me as I open the beer he handed me. Chris was right. Kim and I instantly clicked as we talked about everything from music to philosophy but basically we bonded over how much we love Black Sabbath and obviously all things metal.

"Yea it was pretty nice... though I'm not so sure about the whole constant pissing of this mist that's going on," I say looking up and seeing the overcast clouds beginning to part.

"Trust me you'll get used to it," Kim smirks. Inside I could hear the incredible screams of Robert Plant which then suddenly stopped in exchange for some Type O Negative. There were so many people inside to welcome me here that it was a little overwhelming, which is why I'm sitting out on the back deck.

"Fuck... I'm so fucking glad Chris found someone like you... jeezus he was miserable without you for all that time..." Kim says taking a long drink of his beer.

"Really?" I ask taking a sip.

"Yea really... I kept telling him to call you all last summer but he was so stubborn. He thought that you reject him or something since your number was disconnected back in Vegas. Even tually I stopped buggin' him about it cause it was pissing him off... but hey you're here now..." Kim smirks.

"Huh... I had no idea," I say thoughtfully. I had thought he'd forgotten about me until I ran into him again in Califonia, and then again in New York.

"Of fuck he'd never tell you... In fact, don't say I said anything alright?"

"I won't,"I laugh as Kim chuckles.

When Chris left that morning, I wondered if I was making the right decision. Second guessing myself has always been a fault of mine, but I didn't want to run into his arms in fear of being alone. I had made so much progress at that point by getting out of a relationship that had beaten me down literally after so many years of never accepting my self for who I am. I wanted to be sure of myself and I wanted to be able to be ok with all the mistakes that I have made in my life, and I had to do that alone.

But of course, when Chris would call me, each time he brought up the subject, I would say that I wasn't ready but then I would still go on and ask a million questions and he would answer them honestly, promising me I would love it out here. It was only then around the middle of March that Chris finally convinced me to come out to Seattle and stay. To say he was elated is an understatement. He practically screamed into the phone when I said I would move out here. A few days later he was at my doorstep helping me pack though all I really had to pack was my most precious belongings, my clothes and my small record collection that I had started to re-build. The rest of the time we ended up fucking like crazy and it was fucking amazing.

I made the drive out here with Chris by my side as there was no way I was going to give up my car and he knew it. My black '69 Dodge Charger has been the most constant reliable thing in my life, taking me everywhere from California to New York and there's no way I am ever giving her up. Like I always said, she's my baby.

Once I settled with Chris in Seattle just a couple of weeks ago now, Chris made it clear that I didn't have to find work right away, though he supported my decision if I wanted to work, he just didn't want me to feel pressured to find something just for the sake of it, that if I want to, to make sure it's something I love. In the meantime, I'm taking some time to get to know the area and Chris's band along with a few friends I've met along the way.

"Well all we can say is welcome to Seattle... well really Tacoma right now... but Seattle... ah fuck, Washington in general. Where it constantly pisses and the beer is watered down, so that's why we head to Vancouver to get the good stuff," Kim smiles breaking my reverie and I just laugh. He then clinked his beer to mine and headed back inside. After a few moments, I hear the door slide open again and this time it was Chris in his green and black plaid button up shirt that he left unbuttoned, those black suede wrist bands, his necklaces laying perfectly against his bare chest with his black baggy shorts and those gorgeous curls that flowed just passed his shoulders.

"Hey baby," He smiles as I look up at him.

"Hey," I say sweetly. He flips his curls out of his face and presses his lips to mine. I reach up for a moment, playing with his perfectly trimmed beard as he lingers on my lips for a few moments. He then breaks away and sits down on the bench facing me, brushing my dark curls off my shoulder and placing another quick kiss to that spot just under my earlobe.

"You liking it out here?" He asks playing with one of my curls and twirling it between his fingers.

"Yea... it was a little crowded in there so I just, wanted to watch the sun set," I exhale as I turn back to look at the fading sunlight behind the mountains.

"You know what I love about you the most?" He says sweetly.

"What's that?" I ask looking back at him.

"How incredibly strong you are, how you never once gave up even though you felt like it. You're my everything," He says and places another kiss on that spot just under my earlobe again.

"You're drunk aren't you?" I ask with a smirk and he pulls away.

"Just a little," Chris squints his eyes making a small gesture with his hand and I laugh.

"I love you too," I giggle and Chris chuckles framing my face with his palms and touching his forehead to mine for a moment, then pressing his lips to mine once more under the sparkling stars of the western sky.

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