An Old Friend ✔️

TWENTYONE

Once our breathing slowed, he turned me to face him. He was smiling big at me. His plump lips spreading beautifully over his perfect white teeth. He was breathtaking. He always was. But he was more beautiful now as a man than he ever was. His eyes searched my face, his smile still displayed proudly. 

"What are you thinking about?" He asked. 

"I want to know why."  

He didn't seem to need an explanation, and his smile grew as his eyes squinted. "Because you're beautiful." he replied. "Not just on the surface..." He continued as his fingers traced the outline of my cheekbone then down the tip of my nose. "...but inside as well. You make me laugh, and any time I get a call or text from you, I get excited." He pulled his hand away and let out a breath, happiness still on his face. "You make me feel alive." 

"And you figured this out all in one day?" 

"Not in one day." He replied. "Just over all. All of my interactions with you have made me feel this way." He paused but I knew he wasn't done, so I waited for him to continue. "The night if the reunion, the day at the studio, this evening. Over the years, I have learned that it's not time that tells us how we really feel about someone or something. It's the intensity of it, the desire the fuels it." 

When I searched his eyes I saw a passion sparking behind his words. It made me curious for more. "What fuels your desire Jin?" 

"Happiness. The thought of never having to go through life alone. Having someone with me to share in all the triumphs, someone to give me strength through the bad."

"Happiness." I repeated making him smile again and pulling me close. "You get your fuel from happiness." 

"I do. What fuels your desire?"

"I don't know." 

"Sure you do." He smiled. I shrugged my shoulders without looking away. Biting my lips, I started to feel stupid for my answer. "Think about it." He continued. "Come on, close your eyes." 

"Why?" 

"Because it will help." 

I sighed but listened, closing my eyes and resting my head againt the pillow. Jin started running his hand up and down my bare back, and he spoke softly, soothingly. 

"Think about what makes you smile." He started. "Something that gets your heart pumping, the feeling you get from it. Think about what your future holds. What you see, who you see, what roles they play. Remember what it has been like to work where always dreamed of. Remember buying the house, remember your success. How does it make you feel?" 

The irony of what he was saying, is that I wasn't exactly, 'happy' about any of it. I was sad that I left Jin so abruptly. I was sad that I didn't have my best friend by my side. 

But then again, Yoongi became my best friend. He is the most important person in my life. With the job came opportunity and new people. New people meant Jimin and Namjoon. I felt myself start to smile, remembering the late nights we would have talking, and drinking. The teasing, the inside jokes, the nights I would wake up from the nightmares but I wasn't alone. 

They were always there. 

"My boys." I replied opening up my eyes to see him concentrating on me. "The loyalty I have to my boys is what fuels me. It may not fuel my desire, but it fuels my need to move forward, to do better." 

"And your desire?" 

"You, perhaps?"

"Yeah?"