Hold on to me

Take a good care of the dogs

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January 2011

Christmas was delightful, Emily's grandma was visiting from the hospital with her dog Feather and although it was the time of joy, Emily noticed her mom being worried most of the time.

Her mom took grandma back to the hospital the next day and dropped Feather to one of Paulas friend, who also has flat coated retrievers (she's a breeder and they've been dog trainers as long as Emily could remember).

Emily and her mother went to see grandma few days after the New year. She was getting worse day by day. She didn't have any hair left, and there were tubes going in her hands and nose. She could still think with sense. When they arrived, she was sitting on her bed and doing a sudoku.

- "Remember Emily when I taught you how to fill these a few summers back? Can you tell me, which number goes for this square?" she asked.  They went beside her bed and Emily gave a hug to her grandma. After that she focused on the problem she was asked on, Emily had to think for a second.

- "It's an eight!" 

- "Great answer, you're such a clever girl. Now, do you want to finish this while I speak with your mom?" Emily nodded, took the sudoku and went to an armchair.

- "Paulin, please don't bring her the next time, I don't want her to see me being in any worse condition than I already am." her grandma whispered.

- "What did they say about your... time?" her mom asked.

- "Not even a month. I'm sorry to leave you on such a difficult time, can I feel it?" Paulin put her mother's hand on her growing belly, while smiling gently, tears filling her eyes. This may be one of the last times she's able to speak to her mother.

- "Be gentle to your mommy okay? And remember to bring to joy to her and your siblings." Paula talked to the belly. The baby kicked back as if it had understood what she said to it.

- "It's a bit sad that it doesn't get to know the best grandma in the world." Emily said, walking towards her grandma and jumped on the bed and hugged her. "Look granny, I solved it!"

- "You are a one brilliant and clever girl, don't forget that okay? What ever you do, you'll always make me proud, wherever I am."

- "Even when you're in heaven with your dogs? How can you know what I have done? Can you see all of it?"

- "Even when I'm in heaven with my dogs, yes. You can tell me every night how your day has been. And when you feel lost or you miss me, I'll be here, always." Paula said, pointing at Emily's chest. "You'll be carrying me in your heart." 

- "I don't want you to go..." Emily said with her eyes filled with tears.

- "Aw come here, it's okay." Paula said and hugged her granddaughter, stroking her hair. 

- "Can I hug too?" Paulin asked and hold her daughters and moms hands. The moment has been so heart warming that she'd began to cry. It'll be hard for both of us. Me losing my mother and her losing her granny. A young girl shouldn't experience so much grieve in so short time. It'll wreck her when she leaves.

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Three weeks later

~Peep peep, peep peep, peep peep~