I'm not me

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Sometimes I struggle to understand my emotions
I just continue my devotions.
Like a blank wall,
I usually don't feel at all.
Until I break down of course.
The tears travel down my face with a force
Why is it always the quiet ones who are so fucked up?
I sit and think with my cup
What did I do to deserve this?
Why is it me whom I miss?
The old me has been gone for so long
Nobody treats me particularly wrong
But I am my own enemy in this game
And sometimes I think nobody feels the same
I won't bother to be formal
I just want to know is this normal?
Or are we just broken
The-person-I-used-to-be's small token
Of war to come
And war's destined for some.

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