Poetry (15+)

Best Friends

I always figured,
When I find the one,
Who is destined to be my best friend,
It would be simple.
Easy.

But it's not.
I never realised how hard it truly is.
I never had a best friend.
I thought I did, but...
They weren't right.

I looked for my best friend,
In my siblings.
I guess that worked,
Until we grew up.
Maybe it was my fault,
We drifted apart.
Plus, you always have that fear,
That they'll tell your parents,
All the secrets.

So then, I looked in my cousins.
We had similar hobbies.
We liked the same films,
But...
I just couldn't trust them.
I didn't trust them with my secrets.
They were too young,
They couldn't understand.

I had a "best friend".
It was great for a while.
We shared crushes,
Sung songs together.
Planned the future.
But it was never a "best friend".
I felt uncomfortable around her.
I never felt safe.

Maybe I was her best friend,
But I never felt comfortable.
Maybe we were too different.
That difference only grew as years flew by.
I was a rule follower.
I didn't like the spotlight or causing trouble.
However, you were adventurous.
You craved it.

In the end,
I realise I never had a best friend.
It hurts knowing someone never trusted you.
But it hurts more,
knowing you are alone
because you can't trust them.
Even if they've always been by you.

At the end of the day,
I'm always alone,
Because I can't trust.
I can't create a relationship.

So I suppose I'll be forever alone.
The worst part is,
I can't trust anyone to get help.
So I struggle alone,
And I hate it.
I hate me.