I could see the busy roads outside as I sat near the glass window. Drawn from deadlines and whereabouts, vehicles are impatiently moving despite the heavy traffic. People passed by at the sidewalk as if they were in a marathon. It's a usual afternoon; rush hours and noises.
I roam my sight inside the caffe and noticed the small changes. From the crews who grew in numbers as well as the customers. Some hanged paintings near the counter were replaced with new ones that match the new wallpaper at the small platform. The platform is for the few singers and musicians who does live bands exclusively during Saturdays.
How amazing is that right? A caffe with a pleasing band. How I wish they have that everyday.
"Frapuccino and cup cake?" I was surprised by his sudden appearance.
What a nice greetings after 6 months of not seeing each other.
He's smiling from ear to ear. Damn that smile.
I was stunned for a moment as if I was hunted by a ghost of someone I would never want to meet. Ever.
Pulling back myself from a second of surprise, I faked a smile.
"Uh. Yes..please," I managed to reply.
"Cedric, at your service," he said and winks. Making me remember of that playful move he does everytime I ordered him of anything.
I watch him from my seat as he fall in line near the counter. He's still as handsome as before but his obvious biceps on that sleeves are more define. And he grew some stubbles, too, which made him look hotter.
For God's sake, Beatrice! Stop praising that arse! But oh, God. Who else would not be deceived by this drop dead gorgeous man?
"Your frapuccino and cup cake, ma'am." His baritone voice made me shift from my seat. He put our orders in the table and sat in the opposite seat facing mine.
We have the same orders just like before.
Certainly, all our likes and dislikes doesn't differ. I can say that we are very similar to each other. And that's why I liked him since then. Because he's different from my father. Because I know he will never fail me.
But that was before. Everything is different right now. Eventually, I have noticed the bland feeling everytime we'll hang out in our favorite movie house 6 months ago. If it wasn't the movie, I would have never felt anything but emptiness while being with him.
"You know I understand if you don't feel comfortable—" we said in chorus.
See? Even our thoughts are the same.
"I'm sorry," I apologized.
"No. I'm sorry." He said sounding more apologetic than I am.
Even the color of our shirts is in similar shade of cream and pastel.
We both took a sip in our frappe; trying to ease the tension.
"Uhm. How are you? How's Tito Marty?" he asked. Trying to lighten the atmosphere through opening another topic. Yet it seems like he's digging his own grave.
"I-I'm... fine. Dad's doing fine, too, working in the salon," I even nodded to convince myself from what I just said.
His watchful eyes looks uptight. But I am no martyr to not spat the words I've been carrying for 6 months. I had enough.
"He's doing great with his boyfriend, too. Tito Fred is quite kind," I continued and asked my last resort—
"How about you and Miguel?" I said, swallowing the lump in my throat.
A minute of silence.
"W-we're fine, too. Finally after 2 years," he said and let out a deep sigh.
"After two years of making me a front-act girlfriend?" I frankly asked. Or should I say, I just stated the fact?
He looked at me with uneasy eyes. He shooked his head and held my hand.
"No...After two years of keeping these from you, from everyone else," he sincerely said. Almost a whisper.
He ate his cup cake hungrily. I barely eat mine. I couldn't. Instead, I looked at him the whole time. Memorizing every angles of him because probably... just probably, this would be the last odd day I'll pay him a visit.
Afterwards, he seems to notice my stares. He wryly smiled and stood up.
"What song would you like to hear this time?" he asked.
I shrugged. "Anything. You choose."
"Hmm. How 'bout our favorite?" he simply suggests.
"That's right. Our themesong." He agreed on himself.
He was in the platform already when I was there sitting still at my seat. My heart stung with every strums in the guitar.
"Hanggang sa dulo ng ating walang hanggan... " Cedric sang with all his heart looking intently to the man who's playing the guitar right next to him. To the tune of the song, the two of them sang the chorus. Both happy. Both so..in love.
And here I am, wishing I could bring back the time when I was that someone he's singing with every Saturdays.
We're really are alike, Cedric. Both in love– with a guy. The only difference is that, I am meant for this. Meant for the 2 years of being a front-act girlfriend. Meant for 6 months of moving on. And at this very moment, meant to let you go.
"Hanggang ang puso'y wala nang nararamdaman..." I sang breathlessly.
