Arcadia: Amorphous

Chapter 21: Jock and a Hard Place

"You don't need to put cheese on everything you know."

"Their nachos," said Donnie. "What would they be without a butt load of cheese."

"Chips."

"Speaking of butt load Donnie, aren't you lactose intolerant." Xander chimed in.

"For fox shake." I sighed.

"It's fine, I'm working on a spell to fix all that."

"Working on, is not a finished solution," said Xander.

"It's my body."

"That we have to smell it," Xander added.

"And hear."

"And taste."

"Breath."

"Fine, I get it... Last time." Donnie said heaping another mouthful.

"You said that last time," said Xander.

"Well, eventually it will be true."

The truth to his statement was about as reassuring as a cure for lycanthropy.

"Boys." Said a pile of anthropomorphic shit, taking a seat at our table. "I hope everyone's day has been going well."

"Note the past tense." I jeered.

"That's too bad, I was hoping to have a few words with you, David."

"I only have two for you."

"Guys!" interrupted Donnie.

I don't think it is that uncomment to have a friend with friends you hate. Even in tight-knit groups, everyone got to have a problem with someone else, spoken or otherwise. For the sake of clarity, in a few short months, my roommates Donnie and Xander have become two of the best friends I have ever had. The anthropomorphic shit sack was Blake, who was also a friend of Donnie's.

"Fine! What do you want, Smith?" I asked.

"I actually wanted to give you something." Blake reaches into what I'm going to pretend was a hot pink bags covered in tiny unicorns, and tossed something at me. It was a red jersey with a sword and shield emblazoned on it. "You made the team."

"I quit the team," I said handing it back.

"You quit tryouts, that was the deal. You still made the team."

"Oh, okay. Fuck off."

"Donnie?" The cunt cried like a wounded bitch to his mommy.

"He says fuck off too," I said immediately.

"Hear him out, David." Said Donnie.

"I told you he wouldn't." Continued Blake.

"Oh, I see now. So Donnie needs to go fuck off as well."

"Don't be like that." Donnie pleated. "You still want to be on the team, you need it."

"What I don't need is to be with the jack toothed Canterburry'n cock swateler." I'd rather Donnie had kept his mouth shut. I saw what was in Blakes's eye when he said 'need'.

"David... Why did you want to join the team." Blake asked, a smudge in his intriguement. Damn it, Donnie. "I mean, if you just wanted to play, I doubt you would have considered a team I was on, let alone the captain of."

"I wanted the chance to hit you." I glared.

"Again?"

"For real."