THE AGENCY

Chapter 38: THE PLAN

THE PLAN

Who the hell does he think he is? Just because he's the director? I shot his hair and I apologized! It was an accident! I walk all the way back to John's building and ride the elevator to the roof. It's my safe spot. I release a breath as I try to calm my thoughts. How dare he think that I can't live up to my father. He has no right...damn him! I glance down at the vast view of the city and remember the night Xander was assigned my partner. I remember when I came up here and we argued. Right now I just admire the clear sky and fresh air as I let it cool my nerves. I stare down at the view and think about everything. How did I ever get into a relationship? Is it a good thing? Wait, of course it's a good thing... right? Who would try to kill me? Why would they despise me? I mean my sarcasm is pretty tolerable... My thoughts roam back to Xander. It was just so odd for me to come across someone who cares the way he does. It's more than just John's concerns and worries. I really feel something, that I never want to lose. The way his eyes just seem to read mine, I feel this connection like he knows exactly what I'm thinking. His personality s similar to my father as well and it just makes our connection stronger in our relationship. He's loyal, but is also not afraid to rebel for what he believes in. He's also caring as he is egoistic and strong. He's mature and respectable, with of course the most childish side as well. Suddenly voices start to disrupt my thoughts.
"Cloud!" Someone says.
"She's daydreaming or something." That's Scar.
"Probably about me." That's Xander.
"Snap her out of it!" That's John.
"Cloud!" That's Jemma. I turn around to face them and they all look at me funnily.
"What?" I ask with an annoyed look.
"Where were you?" Xander asks as he continues the look.
"I've been on the roof top." I say as if it's the most obvious thing.
"I meant, what were you thinking of?" he asks. Oh jeez...that's a rock in a hard place.
"Nothing!" I shout out at them. I turn back around with a blush. Xander catches the blush though. He steps up behind me and keeps his hands against my flamed cheeks. He leans down and whispers in my ear.
"So, I was right. Your thoughts just couldn't resist me." He says. I just laugh and then turn back around. I give him a glare, but it says it all. "Don't believe anything he said." He whispers to me as places his hands on my shoulders.
"Trust me, I don't." I whisper back. He gives my shoulders a squeeze and he steps back as he curls his protective arm around me.
"If you'd care to know, the negotiation was successful." John says with a rare smile.
"What?! Really? How?" I ask astonished.
"Oh a bit black mail does the trick." Scarlette adds in. I laugh to myself as I remember what Liam told me about white mailing.
"What was your proposition?" I ask.
"Why don't you ask Miss Smith." John says with a smile.
"Jemma? What did you offer?" I ask.
"We offered to abandon THE AGENCY." She says.
"You...guys all offered your position here for me?" I ask heart whelmed
"Pretty much." Scarlette says.
"Why? You all had a strong chance of being fired for that." I ask confused.
"What do you mean why? We all care about you. Cloud as much as you think your worth...we all know you're more." Scarlette says with a proud gleam. They all mean so much to me. Just to know they care means so much.
"He wouldn't have fired us anyway. They need Jemma as an alliance, and you, Xander and a few others are the only few agents with extensive training and skill that is no longer offered in training. I run section eight and am the only experienced head of a section. I happen to be somewhat of an advisor to Mr. Gowda during times of need because of who my brother was." John says. I had forgotten that John's brother was one of the first trained in THE AGENCY. His brother became the second director of THE AGENCY and trained John personally. If John's father hadn't left and his brother wasn't killed John would have had the opportunity as director. Then my mind goes back to Xander.
"Wait, how come I've never met Xander before if we've had the same training?"
"I was trained in a separate branch of THE AGENCY, that resides in Indianapolis. Later I was moved to this main branch in Columbus, Ohio. I came here about a year ago, but I trained in a separate facility because my father lived here and he tried to get me to join ORPHEUS. I met you once during my orientation here. You probably don't remember because I was watching you train during a simulation." He says.
"So we never really formally met until you met me in the fire?" I ask.
"That would be right." He concludes.
" Wow, I never really thought about your back story." I say out loud.
"Well now you know." Xander says.
"I still can't believe that you all would take the risk of your job for my sake. Thank you." I state as I'm dumfounded without words.
"Don't thank us you nit twit. It's our job." Scar scoffs.
"Don't ruin the moment, Agent Rose." John says.
"Fine." She says back.
"What exactly did he approve of?" I ask still a bit confused.
"We not only black mailed him, but exclaimed our evidence stating that Agent Steel is a threat to THE AGENCY itself because of his rank here and his connections." John responds. "We claimed the necessity to use specific technological resources and weaponry." He adds. "The mission is set for a week from now. He requires our finalized plan in two days. The week needs to be used for specifically your training and preparation." He says strictly. "Agent Shield has offered to guide your training." He says as the smirk of a smile plays across his face.
"I don't need guidance! Jeez, what happened to you all believing in me?" I say.
"Come on, darling. It'll be fine, I promise." Xander coaxes.
"No...I'm used to my independence when it comes to training." I argue.
"I thought you wanted to spend time with me?" he says as he uses that against me.
"For your information, this is not spending time! I already judge myself in training; I don't need a cocky embodiment of my conscience physically in front of me critiquing my every move." I state self-consciously.
"You're afraid that I'm going to judge you?" He asks with a small laugh as if it's the most ridiculous thing.
"I'm not afraid. I know that you and your egoistic self are going to judge me." I say defensively back.
"Sky, look I love you for who you are and I told you that I want to know every part of you for who you are, so stop hiding yourself under these insecure thoughts." He says soothingly as he looks at me softly.
"But..."
"But, nothing. You're insecure and I'm not going to let you." He finishes. "Why don't we all go back to my place, relax and then discuss our plan for the mission." Xander says. I still have the fear of his judgment, there has to be a way around this.
"Sounds like a plan," Scar says. We all start to head back down as the afternoon sun starts to shine down on us. For the last week of November the weather really isn't that bad. It only snowed once so far and it didn't really stay on the ground. Thank god our mission suits are pretty weather proof. Doesn't hurt to slip in a few layers now and then though. We all walk in silence as we reach the apartment building. We all walk into the elevator and wait as it shifts up. The bell sounds as the door opens and we all shuffle down the hall into his apartment. Jemma, Scar, and John crash onto the sofa as Xander and I settle on the chair.
"So, how's this going to work?" Jemma starts.
"We need to think about what we think is Agent Steel's plan. We need to calculate what he's going to have planned, before we can come up with our reaction to it." John says.
"The note mentions my first mission, I'm sure that they're expecting me in the abandoned factory in New York." I say.
"Yeah, but what's their plan inside the factory?" Scar asks.
"How am I supposed to know?!" I retort.
"You did meet with him." Xander grumbles.
"Go back, and think carefully. Analyze his every move and word from that evening. Close your eyes and think, Sky." I close my eyes and carefully think about the scene. I tell them the most relevant information that I can think of.
"He told me that he doesn't know what the message means. He also said that it would be the third move in this game." I say to them.
"Well that's real helpful." Scar remarks.
"If the note is a move in itself then I'm sure there's going to be another note." Jemma says.
"Right. It must be in the factory along with Mr. Donahue." I say.
"Now we can get back to discussing our plan of action." John says. I start to zone out. Planning was always done by my father. John would argue with him over strategy and my father would win the argument. I still remember the way he bit the edge of his lip in thought and him scrawling on the planning paper. I always just followed through with what he planned. This...this is the first time I've been a part of planning without him. John had my other missions already planned for the sake of my sanity. I really miss his presence. I feel a sense of hollowness. I feel as though it's constricting me, this feeling. I feel the need to escape this feeling. I try to swallow down my emotion before I become an emotional mess. I jump off Xander's lap and run to the balcony. I end up tripping over the shattered glass as shards poke at my hands cheek, but I immediately get up and sprint to the balcony before they can stop me. I hear Xander's voice in the back behind me.
"No! Stay here. Let me talk to her." He says.
"It's another moment for her. She's just used to planning with her father." John says.
"That may be the case, but it's more comforting for us to be alone." Xander says as I feel him walk up behind me. He turns me around and starts picking off the shards of glass embedded in my cheek. I wince as he digs out a deep one. I try not to let the hollow feeling consume me. He brushes the cuts on my cheek with his thumb.
"Let me see your hands," he asks gently. I give him my palms as he takes them in his and starts picking off the glass silently. Tears start to stream down my face at some point, but I just sniffle as he finishes picking out the shards. He brushes his calloused fingers over my palms and then looks up at me as a look of pity crosses his face. I hate pity.
"Don't pity me." I say between hiccups.
"I'm not. It just hurts to see you in this state of agony." He responds quietly. "Come here," he sighs as he opens his arms to me. I willingly step into his embrace as his strong arms circle around me tightly. I press my face into his chest as shaking sobs escape my lips. I melt into the comfort of his hold as he starts to rub circles on my back soothingly. His chin rests on my head and his embrace tightens around me. I let another sob loose into his chest and I feel him sigh. As the sobs start to shake me I feel him hold me steady. I wrap my arms around him tightly. I don't want to let go. I just can't...
"Xander, I don't want to let go. Please, I just need you." I state in a voice of helplessness that I don't recognize. I look up at him with my tear streaked face. His expression turns soft.
"Sky, I'm not going anywhere, I promise. I'm right here, darling. Relax," he soothes. He gives me a warm smile as I clutch at him tighter. Another sob wracks my body as I hold on to him. I try to get rid of this hollow feeling through my sobs but it doesn't really do anything but drain my energy and give me a headache. Not another headache. I peek up at Xander again.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be like this...I just miss him, Xander. I miss him." I say as I let out a heart wrenching cry of agony.
"Sky," Xander soothes as he starts to rub my back faster. I continue to cry and he holds me steady. He kisses my head in attempt to calm me down, but I hold him tighter. "Don't apologize. I want to be there for you. That's all I've wanted in the past. For you to let me in. It's wrong what happened and you shouldn't have to go through this pain, but life's just not fair sometimes and we have to accept that. I want to ease the pain, Sky. It hurts me to see you like this, it really does." He soothes again softly as he whispers it in my ear.
"I don't know what to do, Xander." I state as I lean back slightly and sniffle. He smiles down at me as his forehead nuzzles against mine. His eyes gaze into my puffy ones.
"I don't know I either, but you know what you need to remember?" he asks gently.
"What?" I ask with another hiccup of a sob.
"That he loves you." He says.
"But, he's not here! He left me! He left me alone! He just left, Xander!" I sob into him again as I clutch him tighter and he sighs again.
"He didn't choose to leave you, Sky. My father took his life." He states with disdain. "Sky, don't think for a second that you're alone. I'm not a ghost, sweetheart. I'll always be there for you and we are all your family now. John? Scarlette? Jemma? We're all your family now, Sky. We always will be. We all love you, if only you'd open your eyes to that fact." He states with a determined look.
"They...they love me?" I ask a bit baffled by his words as I hiccup.
"Not as much as I do, but yes." He states with a smile. He presses a sweet kiss to my lips as his forehead rests against mine once more. "I love you, Sky, you know that right?" He says as he kisses me.
"I know, Xander. You told me that you'd never let me forget." I say back.
"Never. I'll never let you forget, darling." He says with a soft smile.
"I love you." I respond and he immediately takes my lips in his as he kisses me hard and leaves me standing there breathless as he pulls away. The hollowness still resides.
"Xander, the pain. It...it...it's not gone." I state dejectedly. He presses me to his firm chest and begins to draw lazy circles on my back again in an attempt at soothing.
"The truth is it might never go away, Sky. The truth is like a knife that's been plunged into your heart and twisted, it hurts like a bitch, but we just can't seem to pull it out because we're so consumed of its reality. No matter what I do, Sky, I can't take away the pain. I can't numb the memories. It's your battle to fight and I have enough respect for you, for you to fight your battle on your own." He says to me.
"Thank you, Xander." I state as I hug him. Just as I'm clutching onto him I feel something wet and cold land on my nose. I look up at Xander.
"It's the first snow." He says as he kisses my nose. I laugh. Then white glittering snowflakes start to rain down on us. His hair starts to get covered by the white specs. I comb my fingers into his hair as he does to me and we pull each other into a warm passionate kiss. As we get entangled in our moment of pure passion and lustrous love we are covered in the flurry of snow. After we catch up with the moment he stares down at me with a smile. I scrunch my nose up at him with a slight twist of my lips.
"Darling, covered in snowflakes and with that face, I could never say no to you." He admits. I just scrunch my nose more at him with a blush. "Now that's just, adorable, let me kiss it off your face so I'm not put under spell by your adorable expressions." He says as he kisses my nose and my twisted lips. He brushes my cheek with his thumb as his other hand combs back into my hair and supports my head. He pulls my lips into his in another heated moment for the icy weather. He moves the hand that was brushing my face to the small of my back and presses me closer to him.
"Me? I'd never put you under a spell." I say with a teasing innocence.
"We all know you're not that innocent, Cloud." He mumbles against my cheek. A sudden realization hits me.
"You've called me Sky at least 3 times and you said that you'd call me Cloud!" I state.
"Couldn't resist, too bad. I think Sky just suits you. You're forever my Sky. My Sky." He continues to mumble against my cheek as he kisses every inch of it.
"Well you're the sunshine in this Sky." I respond in a whisper. He leans back with a cocky smile.
"Say it again." He commands.
"No, you heard me perfectly fine and it was cheesy." I say.
"I want to hear it again from your sweet voice. As long as it's true it's not cheesy. Now tell me again, my Sky." He coaxes in a low tone.
"You're the sunshine in this Sky, Xander. My sunshine." I repeat in his ear with a low tone. He let's out a groan as he takes my lips in his once more. I start to shiver now as the snow starts to slip into my mission suit. He pulls back and gives me an onceover.
"Let's go inside. You're shivering. It's fine, we can go to the bedroom. I'll have John entertain the girls, if you're still..." he says.
"I think I'm ok, just in a fragile state...if that makes sense, but we don't have to put John through that daunting task. I think I can handle it as long as I'm with you." I say sweetly. He kisses me for that.
"Can we just say you're still not feeling well, because I'm quite lured to the bedroom at this moment, darling." He says with a heated tone and my cheeks turn red.
"No! You're so...uh..." I say blushing harder. "Let's see, maybe we can tell them to go back to their apartments and relax because we're not really doing any more you know uhh...planning." I state.
"That work's too. Come on, you're shivering, sweetness." He says as he guides me inside. They all give us unsure looks. "It's snowing, why don't you all get back to your apartments, before we're snowed in. No more planning today, we can finish tomorrow and meet up at 9:00am here. Okay?" Xander addresses.
"Sure whatever, just kick us out like that." Scar comments. I give her a look.
"Jemma your apartment is in the adjacent building on the 5th floor, room 509." John informs her.
"Great, thanks." She says as she starts to head out. Scar is still here. John heads out as well.
"Come on, Scar." I say with a sigh. She gives me a pleading look. Then Xander whispers something to her. She gives me a smirk and heads right out with a cryptic comment, "Have fun."

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