The Oddities Of Grand Marquis - Book 1: Galactic Seed 🪼✔

Seventeenth

"I think you and I need to have a little talk."

That's what he said and yet... and yet it sounded so final. I felt myself begin to hyperventilate and my body started shaking.

"I- I'm sorry... I... I didn't mean..."

"Max, I'm not going to hurt you. I'm not mad at you and I don't hate you. I just need you to listen to me. Are you listening?" I nodded, but I didn't want to look at him. "When you were in your mom's stomach, not even born, I said some horrible things about you to your mother. I was scared, confused, and I thought we had planned accordingly. I wasn't ready to be a father. I didn't think I'd be able to pay the bills, provide what you needed... be a good dad... but your mother told me that I would be amazing and would make my son proud. Until you were born, I didn't realize how much I really wanted that for you. I wanted you to be proud of me as your father and I wanted to teach you right, make you strong... but I failed...

"I let you slip through my fingers and somehow you ended up acting like you did. Whether it was a rebellious stage or not, the reason it was done was because of me. I was putting too much on you when I should have stopped... When you left that day, saying you wish you had never been born, it... it struck a chord in me... See, I told Geneva that I hoped you would never be born when you were still a fetus, scared and foolish as I was. As you grew, so did I... Saying what you said only made me remember the horrible thoughts I had had about you and watching you go was like it was playing out in my head.

"When you never came home..." He breathed in and I heard him sniffle a little. "When you never came home, everything I ever did and said and the moment I had even thought of taking you away and giving you up, came rushing back to me. I hate myself for even thinking that way when I was younger but I thought I buried all of that when you were born. But then... then you weren't there and we couldn't find you. I knew I had failed as a father..."

He stopped talking and I looked over my shoulder a little and saw him with his hand over his eyes. He was trying not to cry.

"How could a father like me ever think I could help you? I wished you gone when you were a baby and then I did the same thing as an adult, except this time you were right in front of me and I still acted like a fool. Then the aliens took you and just made things worse... Max, I... I don't know what to do for you. I'm scared, confused, and very much unqualified to be your father. I'm not a source of comfort... I bring pain with me no matter what happens... I should be able to support you wholeheartedly and with arms wide open but I'm afraid. I'm afraid for you, for us... You're going through something I could never have survived 9and can never understand) and all I've done is make you cry so hard your nose bleeds. I make you uncomfortable and make you feel like you're unworthy when it's quite the opposite. I don't hate you at all, Max; I love you. I truly do from the bottom of my heart... the person to be hated in this scenario is me."

Dad sounded so desperate, lost... It made me angry that these aliens screwed me up so bad that even my dad couldn't figure out who he was anymore.

"I know I'm not doing that well of a job and I've made you feel like you were a nuisance, but it's nothing of the sort. I vowed the day you were born that I would protect you and when you got taken... when you were out of my reach and beyond my hands... I vowed that if you ever came home, I would make sure that you felt comfortable and safe and loved. So far it hasn't worked."

Somehow I turned my over to that I could look at him but he wasn't looking at me. He was looking at the ground, fidgeting with his hands on his knees. I was starting to get a little delirious from the fever, but I put my hand on one of his and held it there. I couldn't find the words I wanted. Finally, after what seemed like forever, I felt him squeeze my hand a little.