a. Despair

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“This should not be happening”, she groaned loudly hiding her contorted features in the warmth of her hands, loose tendrils from her bun falling around her face.

She seemed like a picture of hypocrisy dipped in arrogance.Seated in a room that would put Royals to shame, surrounded by artistic extravagances nothing short of millions, in one of the plushest hotels of Switzerland,she was cribbing! Irony!

Prerna scoffed mentally as she pulled her head back and tucking her lousy curls back in place took a good look at the antique mirror.

She looked decent, beautiful maybe except for that unbecoming look in her eyes. And the worst was the jewellery around her neck that she had forever dreamt of wearing. Mangalsutra. Anurag ke naam ka. Yes, she was now Mrs Prerna Basu!

Such a happy news.

And yet all was not roses and peaches in her heart. Three months back when Mr. Bajaj had suggested divorce, she had been thrown off guard by his out of the blue proposal. Theirs had been a marriage of convenience. He had given her Anurag’s freedom while she had gifted him the satisfaction of seeing Mohini Basu burn everyday as her beloved son writhed in spasms of agony on seeing the love of his life playing ghar ghar with someone else.

Mr. Bajaj had a deep seated grudge against Kaki maa that she had never been made privy too. Nonetheless, she detested the sadistic grin that would grace his features whenever any of the basus would point a finger at him with scorn or waste their caustic words on his crocodile skin.

He was a twisted man, derived pleasure from the agony of others, bloomed on the suffering of others and knew nothing of restraint and control when it came to destruction.She had positively loathed him. She had tried to! But every day spent with him revealed a new facet of his otherwise maniacal personality. He respected her and their boundaries. He belittled no one no matter what they would do unlike someone she knew! His kindness was just as messed up as his head. He would never give alms to poor but offered them jobs of their caliber if they were willing to work. Otherwise, for all he cared, they could rot in a gutter!

Sometimes he wouldn’t even bat an eyelash to the plight of others. He didn’t pretend to be bothered either. And this virtue of him made her respect him. He was a very honest man, no pretensions at all. Even she was not that honest. He wouldn’t feign smiles to please others and would definitely never let himself fall to help others up. This was a major personality defect in her; he would point on many occasions.

Six months spent with him as his better half weren’t all that bad. He was not the ideal husband material and yet he had tried everything in his accomplishment to become a husband that she would be happy to be with. Indeed, the man who refused to comply to anyone’s expectations would bow his head willingly simply because marriage, a deal nonetheless, was a pious relation and a woman who left behind her family to nurture someone’s else world deserved every happiness. He ensured that for her.

No matter what he was to others, he was very caring when it came to her.

And somewhere along the line, their original motives had lost their lustre. She had started to see him in a different light despite his f*cked up character when one day he just offered an amicable separation. He offered no explanation, neither did she demand any. Because she was happy to be free. She ought to be as he had stated after all she was given another chance to live her love story. She hadn’t been too thrilled about it though. And still she had walked away without a fight, without a demand.

Anurag and her family had almost lost their minds in their marriage preparation. She hadn’t allowed her throbbing heart to ponder the strange unease either. It was natural to miss someone whom she had grown accustomed to in the span of 6 months. And whenever she would remember her ex- husband, Anurag’s radiant smile and the glow on his face would dull all those memories. It reduced her guilt. The immeasurable pain she had caused him…the weight of it all seemed to mellow down a little, bit by bit. And it was not like Mr. Bajaj needed her or anything.

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