are you that somebody

Twenty-One

Xing asked me out on a date. I obliged, because, why the fuck not? We only live once and I really like spending time with him so I took up the offer as soon as he put it on the table in front of me. Of course, after the question, it resulted in us kissing and holding each other for almost an hour in my office until Kandi walked in-- not even knocking-- and frowned.

It's been a week since then and now I was sitting in my bedroom, staring at the outfits on my bed, trying to decide which one I wanted to wear. "Hurry up and chose." Kandi spat from the other side of the room. I turned to look at her with a scowl on my face.

"Help me chose!" I cried out in frustration. She looked at me, pausing the filing of her nails and frowned.

"First of all, I'm going to need you to calm down and lower your voice. I'm helping you, but you need to give me an idea of what you want. I know you're nervous but you can't take it out on me." I huffed, crossing my arms and nodded.

"Sorry." I apologized quickly. She nodded slowly before setting the nail file onto the side and looking back at me.

"See, look at you growing and shit. I never seen you apologize until now." I narrowed my eyes at her and watched as she moved over in the direction of my closet and disappeared inside. "Where are y'all going?" she asked. I shrugged, moving over to my closet as well and standing in the doorway and watching as she moved across every little row of clothing. She'd pull out an item every so often but quickly put it back when it didn't meet the criteria she was looking for.

"I don't know. He just told me that he wanted to wait for him to get paid, so he could pay for the date and that I should dress how I normally dress." Kandi turned to look at me and smiled.

"Aww, that's cute. I really hope you two get married one day."

"We literally just started dating. Please don't get ahead of yourself. I'm not trying to get my hopes up and end up heartbroken."

"Stop thinking negatively, stupid. Y'all don't know it yet, but..." she trailed off and tilted her head to the side and right when she did that, she smiled.

"Why are you looking like a psychopath?" I questioned. Pushing me aside, Kandi moved to the other end of my closet and pulled out a dress.

"This is perfect." I frowned. "Easy access for when you two finally have sex and it's beautiful and will compliment your skin well." I shook my head at her antics then took the dress from her hands.

"I love your thinking but this dress has horrible memories attached to it, I don't want to wear it again."

"Horrible memories can be overwritten by good memories. I'm sure once Xing fingers you into oblivion again, it will trump the stupid memory associated with it already." I shook my head.

"He can't finger me if I'm bleeding." I reminded her, she had to get me some pads and tampons yesterday when I called her desk, crying in pain.

"I'm sure a little blood won't scare him off. Xing is a little tough cookie." I tilted my head to the side at her comment and looked at her. "He isn't little? Well fuck. If only you weren't on your period tonight. I'm sure you were going to pop his cherry so fucking good." I giggled at her comment. "But all of that won't change the fact that you need to wear this dress." I pouted. I hoped that I was able to change her mind but it didn't work and that upset me.

"Please. I really don't want to wear this dress."

"Tell me exactly why you shouldn't wear this dress and I'll think about it." I groaned as I stared at her and slid down onto the floor, crossing my legs and sighing.

"I wore this dress when I found out-." I stopped immediately, shaking my head, not wanting to repeat those things aloud. I've said it plenty of times and I'm tired of talking about it but even after all the times I talked about it, it still hurts me.

I watched as her features softened immediately as she heard me say that and soon, she was sitting next to me on the floor. "I didn't know." I nodded. I knew she didn't know, she wasn't there for me at the time, nor did she know me but I was so glad that she was here now for me because I couldn't have asked for a better friend. "I'm so sorry." I nodded slowly, keeping my eyes on the ground.

"I thought I threw the dress away." We sat in silence for a little bit until she sighed.

"I'll pick a different dress," Kandi said about to stand but I grabbed her hand, stopping her.

"I'll wear it." She looked at me confused.

"You don't have to-." I stopped her and shook my head.

"I have to get over my fear."

"It's not a fear, it's a painful reminder, Bili."

"Well, I'm going to try to make it not so painful and hope I won't remember it after tonight. I loved this dress." I admitted. "It was my favorite dress ever before it happened."

"It's beautiful, but you don't have to."

"Well, I want to. Please." I whispered to her. She sighed as she stared at me.

"I don't want to do something you're uncomfortable with doing." I shook my head.

"It has to be done." I murmured.

"It doesn't, really." We went back and forth for a bit until I stood, holding the dress up to me.

"I hope I can still fit it." I joked, walking out of the closet and towards the bathroom. I could hear Kandi following behind me and stopping just before she got to the bathroom door.

"For all it's worth, I really hope Xing can help you love yourself for all that you got."

"I already love myself." I joked, a half-smile growing upon my lips.

"You know what I mean. You aren't just a girl that bad shit happened to you. You are a queen and a boss and I love you. You are literally the strongest woman I ever encountered in my life." I stared at Kandi in awe, smiling brightly.

"You really think so?" I asked. She nodded.

"I know so." We hugged quickly, until she pulled away, motioning to the bathroom. "Now hurry up and get ready. I don't know what time you two are meeting up but it's getting late." I nodded, walking into the bathroom, closing the door after me.

filler chapter. next chapter is where a lot of shit goes down (i hope. i have an idea of what i'm doing but i'm not sure lol) next chapter will be the chapter where what kandi and Bili were talking about, gets explained some so.... yeaahhh. I might update tomorrow. Idk

Also, if y'all read Maid for Two or Dr. Rodriguez, I'm doing a spin-off, relating to their kids. Mainly about Xerena but you will see all of your favorite characters from the books including Emily, Dex, Manny, and others.

It's called Under the Influence. I have the synopsis, epigraph and a sneak peek posted. Two chapters might be out tomorrow. Idk yet. Lol.