are you that somebody

Three

A month later, I'm a mess. Well, physically, I'm well put together. No hair out of place and not a zit in place. I managed to lose some weight in the last month— no thanks to the many of McDonald's I ate but at the same time, maybe so. I did have really bad diarrhea each time I ate it, but that's not the point.

Mentally, I'm a mess and I blame it all on my so called addiction. But not because I can't stop thinking about sex and craving it, no. I blame it on my addiction because if it weren't for it, I wouldn't be stressing like this.

I'm being harassed by Tommy. He's everywhere I go now. Including my fucking office.

When I walked into my office this morning, I found the man sitting at my desk, a somber expression on his face. He looked up at me when I stopped at the doorway, a slow smile spreading across his face. "Hi,"

"What are you doing here?" I asked as I moved further into my office, keeping my voice low trying not to alert the rest of the people in their offices or cubicles near by. I gulped, closing the door behind me. Tommy stood, straightening his suit jacket as he moved in my direction slowly.

"I needed to talk to my boss." He said with a sly smirk. I sighed, motioning for him to move. He did without any further questions. I made my way towards my desk chair and sat down with a sigh.

"What can I help you with?" I asked with a tight lipped smile. Tommy cleared his throat, again adjusting his suit jacket as he sat down across from me.

"You've been ignoring my emails and my calls." I threw my head back, rolling my eyes. "It's important, Bil." I put my head back to a normal position and glared in his direction.

"Ms. Harrison." I corrected.

"It's important, Ms. Harrison." Tommy reiterated through clenched teeth. I smiled, showing my teeth this time.

"Is it about the new product that I have yet to see that your workers promised would be modeled by this week? Cause this week is almost over and have yet to see an email or even get a phone call from the person who's supposed to contact me beforehand."

"She's gone, B-." I glared at him. "Ms. Harrison. She resigned two weeks ago."

"Quite convenient on your behalf, hmm," I accused. Tommy nodded.

"You don't believe me."

"No, I don't." I admitted.

"You can't be mad at me about this. You act like we were the ones getting married, Bili." He whispered to me harshly.

"I'm not mad." I said calmly with a smirk. "I'm far from being mad, actually Tommy." I told him, sitting back in my seat.

"Then why did you break this up?" He asked, clearly irritated and slightly angry. "I liked what we had."

"I can say that I did as well."

"Then why'd you stop?" He was upset now. I sighed, looking away from him. I leaned forward in my seat.

"Because, contrary to multiple people's beliefs, I have standards. I know what I want and don't want. I know what I like and don't like." I paused as I gauzed his reactions. "And after all of this, I know my worth now." I admitted, nodding.

Tommy let out a humorless chuckle as he stood. "This isn't fucking fair. You know that right?" He asked as he looked in my direction. I didn't respond, only watching him as he paced around my office. "You can't just cut this off over a bunch of bullshit."

"You getting married isn't bullshit. Me getting my life together isn't bullshit." I said quickly. "Why can't you just accept this?"

"Because, maybe it was a mistake."

"What?"

"You look beautiful." I rolled my eyes.

"Tommy."

"I called off the wedding. I broke up with her."

"Tommy, no," I whispered. Just then there was a knock on my office door. It opened swiftly and in walked a janitor. He looked between Tommy and I then smiled politely.

"I come get trash." He said, his English broken and poor. I smiled back at him gently, nodding towards my trash can near where Tommy was standing. The janitor smiled back at me before moving towards Tommy, grabbing the trash bag out the can, tying it and replacing the bag then looked back at me. "Thank you."

"Thank you," I repeated with a bigger smile. I watched him as he left my office then closed the door after him. I turned my attention back over to Tommy.

"Are you fucking the janitor?" He accused with his voice raising multiple octaves.

I let out an annoyed breath. "No, but I don't see why that's any of your business, Mr. Kayo."

"You are my business." I shook my head.

"No, not at all." I sighed, rubbing my temples. "I would appreciate it if you'd just contact via email from now on." Tommy scoffed, moving in my direction quickly. I stared at him blankly as he got in my face, breathing heavily so his minty breath was fanning across my face and finding its way up my nose.

"You run through my mind constantly." He whispered, his brown eyes boring into mine with so much intensity. "You can't cut me off like I was nothing."

"I'm not cutting you off. You can still see me. Just at corporate meetings." I watched him move away from me quickly as if being in close proximity of me was burning him. He cursed multiple times before he swiped everything off my desk. I flinched, just watching him as he continued to destroy my office, making a mess in his wake.

When he was done, he cleared his throat, straightening his jacket once more. "You'll come back. They always come back." I smiled forcefully, shaking my head.

"I highly doubt that I'm apart of that, they." I told him honestly. He sniffled, like he was crying, shaking his head.

"Check your fucking emails, Bili." I didn't get a chance to respond as he left the room. His head held high as if he didn't just breakdown in front of me.

I sat silently in my office for at least an hour, overthinking about everything before I picked up the phone receiver and pressed in three numbers. "How can I help you, Ms. Harrison?" A friendly voice asked on the other end of the line. I sighed, rubbing my eye.

"I need, um," I took a deep breath. "A janitor to help me in my office please." I said defeatedly.

"Of course. What's the mess like so I know what to send the guys with?"

"A bunch of trash and some glass." I admitted.

"Okay, I'll send Mr. Xing back up. He's really good at making sure every little strand and piece of glass and trash is up."

"Thank you," I hung the phone up, sniffling then wiping my face in frustration.

My life is a mess and all I can do is try to change it the best that I can.