Slow Down

One

Just three weeks after the tsunami, Buck was back at work as a firefighter. Sometimes it's rough running into danger to save someone because the second he runs into any kind of danger with all good intentions, Buck's brain suddenly remembers the pain his body was in when he was running through that tsunami water trying to find Christopher. He remembers feeling his body wanting to shut down through the adrenaline. He remembers his feet burning from the miles he walked and ran. He remembers the blood coming out of his arm, and running down his hand. He remembers how much it hurt as his rapidly beating heart banged in his chest. He remembers every single bit of it even though he tries so hard not to think about it.
Every time Buck finds himself going down that hole where he remembers all the pain, he quickly climbs out and buries the pain quickly. He doesn't want the team to know the pain he's going through, and he sure doesn't want to put his pain on any of their shoulders.

Buck was walking into the station when he overheard Eddie talking to Hen, "...and the nightmares seem to get worse every night. At first it was just some sweating and mumbling in his sleep. Now it's full on screaming while he's sleeping. I'm trying to help him the way my mom helped me after Afghanistan." He was talking about Christopher. Buck's heart shattered a little more. He didn't realized that Christopher had been having nightmares. Buck's brain immediately started telling him it was his fault. Why'd you have to go to that stupid pier? Why couldn't you protect him? Why'd you have to cause him all this unnecessary trauma? Buck's thoughts, questions he's asking himself, were going a million miles a minute. His head started to hurt. Buck ran outside to get some fresh air. He closed his eyes, and evened his breathing. After a minute, he went inside, with a smile on his face, and greeted the team like he usually did. They greeted him back, and almost immediately got a call. There was a fire at a hotel.
When they got there, a woman was screaming that he son was on there, and Bobby assigned Buck and Eddie with the task of going in to find him. "His names, Chris, please find him!" The woman pleaded. Hearing what the son's name was, Buck found this almost personal. He couldn't fail this woman like he had failed Eddie and Christopher during the tsunami. He ran into that burning building, and started yelling the son's name.
"Chris! Chris, where are you?" He repeated this a few more times before finally hearing a cry from under a desk. It was Chris. He couldn't have been more than 9. Buck told him they were gonna get him to safety, and then gave him his mask, before picking him up and heading out with Eddie behind. When they got outside, Buck put Chris on a gurney, and the woman thanked him as she took her son's hand.
Since Buck had took off his mask in a burning building, Bobby made him go get checked by a doctor, to ensure the smoke didn't do any damage. Luckily, Buck was completely fine. He got back to the station just in time for Family Dinner.