Slow Down

Three

After the long day at work, the team, minus Buck, went out for drinks. "Did he seem okay to you guys?" Chimney asked.
"I don't know. I mean he seems better since he's started, but there's little things I notice that make me think he's not." Eddie said.
"Things like what?" Bobby ask.
"I don't know just things I used to do after the war. Like zone out for a couple seconds or minutes at little things that would remind me of it. I saw him zone out for a couple seconds at the explosion sight. But then he snapped out of it so quick, and seemed better, I guess? And then he upright refused to go out with us tonight. He was so persistent on not going."
"I'm sure he's not fully okay after what he was put through during that tsunami. But I do think him having his job back will help." Bobby said. The team was about to change the subject when the news came on. New Footage From When The Tsunami Hit was the headline. And the team sat there in shock as they saw Buck almost drowning in the water, and then tears formed as they saw him save Christopher. The footage kept cutting out and in, but it showed a lot of what happened to Buck and Christopher. They saw him save a lot of people in the water. They saw him shield Christopher's eyes from the dead bodies that floated near the truck. And they saw Christopher falling in, and Buck immediately dropping the guy's he was trying to save hand, and start screaming and searching for Christopher. "Oh my gosh, we have to go to Buck's place and talk to him." Hen said shocked.
"That's not a good idea, he won't like that at all. Eddie go check on Christopher. Everyone else go home. I'll go talk to him." Bobby said.

Chimney went to Maddie's house, and asked if she saw the footage. She was crying, already. Seeing her little brother go through that was something she never wanted to see.

Buck was pacing. He knew his team saw the footage from the news. He knew they saw him lose Christopher. He knew they'd be parading him with questions. He almost stopped breathing when he heard a knock on the door. He opened it up to see Bobby. "Buck we need to talk."
"Sure, come in." Buck managed to say calmly.
"I saw the footage, and it just got me thinking that maybe you weren't fully fine."
"I'm okay, Bobby. Truly I am. I'm just glad that Christopher is safe."
"That's just the thing Buck. I know you're not fine. I know you go back to that day over and over again in your head Buck, and I get it. I used to go back to the day my family died all the time. I know exactly what you're going through."
"You're right. I do relive that day over and over in my head. I think about how I failed to keep Christopher safe. I think about how many people I saw dying, and I just let them because I was too consumed in trying to find him. A lot of people died that day Bobby, and I could've save at least twenty of them. You know what else I think about? I think about how much trauma it must've caused Christopher. I overheard Eddie telling Hen that he has nightmares. And I can't help but hate myself because I'm the reason he has them. I gave that innocent kid horrifying nightmares by one choice of going to a beach. You know how terrifying it is for me to make choices now? It's really hard. I think about how I could choose the wrong thing to eat and it could kill me. I think about how if I choose to turn down the wrong street I could get in a wreck. I think about how every choice I make can end dangerously." Buck started opening up and couldn't stop. He had held it all in for so long that once a little came out, everything else came out. He looked scared after he started talking. He didn't want to tell Bobby all this. He didn't want Bobby knowing the amount of emotional turmoil he was in.
"Buck, it's obvious you've been holding all this in for a long time. Usually I would tell one of my team members that they need to take time off, but I think working will help you, and don't worry I won't tell the team about this discussion."
"Thank you Bobby."