Slow Down

Nine

Bobby was the first to arrive to Buck's place. He saw Buck crouched down beside his walk, crying. Bobby went over to him and talked. "Buck, listen I know you're going through a lot right now, but you've got to talk to us, your team. We are all here to be shoulders to cry on and as ears to listen to anything. Trust me I know more than anyone that the longer you bottle up these emotions the more it's going to hurt when you finally let it all out." Buck didn't reply he just sat there, and stared up at Bobby before looking back down. Bobby saw this look in his eyes that he's never seen before. It was a look that told you the person in front of you is truly broken, feels completely helpless.  and doesn't have any hope, but at the same time begging for help.
When the rest of the team arrived, Eddie was the first person to say something, "Hey Buck, I know how completely shattered you feel right now, but believe me when I say that all of us, your team, your family, we are here to help carry you and all your burdens. We all love you Buck, I love you, and we need you to let us help." Buck let out a shattering breath before speaking to them through his sobs.
"I can't be helped. I've brought all this pain onto myself. I've brought it upon myself because I'm too weak and can't ever be there to save anyone. I wasn't there in time to save Maddie. I wasn't strong enough to keep Christopher one hundred percent safe. I wasn't strong enough to be a navy seal cause I'm too emotional. I was too weak and not fast enough to save what could've been a good life. I panicked. When I heard that gunshot, I panicked, and didn't realized that she had been hit. I didn't know what to do so I... I just sat there frozen. I didn't even think to put pressure on the wound. Instead she layed there bleeding out, while all I could do is watch. It's my fault their both dead. I killed my fiancé and my child because I was too scared." Buck started to talk and couldn't stop from pitting all the blame on him. The team sat there in shock. None of them knew about Kiara. He's never told anyone about her until now. These traumatic emotions Buck was bottling up, went way before the tsunami.
"Buck, we have no idea what happened with your fiancé and future child, but I can guarantee you that it wasn't your fault. You were probably really young at this time, so you wouldn't of known to put pressure on her wound, and you were in shock. Whatever happened was not your fault." Eddie was the first to say something after finding out about his fiancé and future child.
"Buck I find that when we go through a traumatic experience, we unnecessarily pull apart every layer of what happened, and we find a way to make it our fault. I don't know why we do that, but I do know that it means that we are human, and that we care entirely way too much." Bobby spoke after Eddies to try and get Buck talking again which worked.
"Her parents blamed me too. They completely shut me out of their lives, and I don't blame them. They were gonna become grandparents, but instead they lost their daughter and future grandchild on the same night."
"People grieve in their own ways Buck. Believe me. I used to shut completely down when I would go through something traumatic." Hen added on.
"Buck we know it's not easy to get past this kind of stuff, but I can assure you that since we're a family, we all get to carry the weight you carrying, because the longer you carry it by yourself, the heavier and harder it's gonna be to carry." Chimney took Buck's hand as a way to let him know he's carrying this burden too.