hidden || c.l √

十六

pov felix

"j-jeongin?", i said quietly, while i was waiting for an answer on the other line.

"hey fe- are you okay? you sound really sad", he questioned.

"well.. not really.."

"oh dude, tell me about it."

"ok.. first of all i-i'm not a virgin..."

"congrats!"

"i lost my virginity to changbin."

"ah shit.. here we go again..."

"ok, let me explain... changbin and i had.. you know... but it's already 5 months ago, but i was in a relationship at this time.. but not in a happy one.. and i'm still not in a happy one.."

i sighed.

i was thinking about all the heartwarming moments we had when i was single. it feels good to think about it and i want it back. but i don't know how.

"anygays... changbin and i already had something 7 months ago. i sucked his dick... and he sucked mine. but it's not that important. well it actually is.. i mean, that was the day if my first kiss.. and it was changbin..."

"wait i can't handle it."

"haha sorry... i-i don't know it felt so right and then i realize i have homophobic parents and then i wanna yeet myself you know?"

"no actually not. my parents are fine with me dating chan."

"because your parents think chan is a cute boy, and when you would tell them you call him daddy they would yeet themselves too."

"that's not the topic right now, tell me more about you and changbin."

"okay fine. it's probably a week ago... yes it is exactly a week ago. 7 days. i couldn't really remember we had sex.. but he told me.. i mean.. i could only remember how i entered him and how we both came. and i still didn't want trust him. it felt so unreal, you know?"

"yeah..."

"i really loved- i mean i still love him, but i have a girlfriend and homophobic parents so what do i do?"

"you came out to your parents...?"

"nah.. but that would be really smart. but i'm dumb as fuck so i said changbin that i love him. but i still need to break up with my girlfriend but i can't, cause her life is so shitty right now and i don't know what to do...", i said without even breathing. tears formed in my eyes. and jeongin didn't know what to say.

"omg nuu baby.. first of all, break up with her! you shouldn't care about her life too much. she's making you sad, and seeing you like this makes me just.. ugh i don't know... you and changbin should be in a relationship... okay.. then you can tell changbin.. and theeennn...."

"and then?"

"you need to tell your parents that you're gay."

"oh shit..."