PS, I hate you

•Chapter 5•

The picture above is what she wears later on in the chapter

I sat in the car deciding if I wanted to go try to talk to him one more time. After pondering for a couple minutes I made my way to the front door greeting my mom and making my way up the stairs. I knocked on his door pushing it open to see him sitting at his computer desk slouched over with his face in his hands.

"Jona-" I started to whisper but he interrupted me

"Just leave me be!" He grunted walking up to close the door in my face. I stood there stunned for a moment but then made my way back downstairs.

"Hey there's pork chops and coleslaw in the oven" mom said not drawing her attention away from the soap opera

"Thank you" I replied making my way to the kitchen. I wasn't super hungry though. In fact, I wasn't hungry at all. The encounter I just had with Jonah made my stomach ache and my heart was beating uncontrollably in my chest. I was trying my hardest to hold back tears.I don't know why I was even close to crying. Was it because I felt helpless when it came to being there for Jonah? Or was it because his words struck me deep? I tried my hardest not to think about my father. I really did and up to now I succeeded with that. For some reason I couldn't seem to get the thoughts out of my mind. Why didn't my father want me? Why didn't he want us? Did we do something? Did mom do something? There were so many unanswered questions and my brain was starting to get cloudy again. My mom would never let me run at this time of night and the only other solution was reading. I settled for a bottle of water and made my way up the now tiring stairs.

"I was a child. I didn't need to be stronger, I needed to be safe. I needed to feel loved. I needed to feel wanted and needed. I was a child"

Those words just kept repeating in my head and I was about to go crazy. On nights like this I usually just go for a run, ignoring my moms wishes. Instead, I suffered in silence reading a book until I eventually drifted off to sleep

•

When I finally woke up I quickly hopped in the shower before washing my face and brushing my teeth. I had skipped taking one last night and I felt completely dirty.

I got out throwing on my guns and roses shirt accompanied with a pair of mom jeans. I slid on my black shoes and made my way down the stairs

"Hey sweetheart how did you sleep" mom asked preparing to head off to work

"Good" I replied checking the time on my phone. I still had a decent amount of time to get to school.

"Do you work tonight?"

"No I'm off until Sunday" I smiled leaning over the island watching her put together her lunchbox

"Okay sweetheart. I don't want to hold you up any longer so be on your way" she chuckled "I love you"

"I love you too momma" I smile heading out the door.

•

One coffee later I finally made my way into the schools entrance. I walked over to my locker as per usual grabbing the books I needed for my English class and heading there.

When I made it to the class I sat down slurping on the remaining coffee as the students filed in. surprise surprise. Jaxon actually made it on time today. I had a pretty good feeling it had something to do with Mrs.Millers threats. I was so curious as to why everyone used his dad against him. Why?

When I looked over to where he was sitting I found him already staring at me. He quickly turned his head back to his journal and I could feel a smirk plastering across my face. Oh how the tables have turned.